kicking my ass... and my bladder

so i feel like the last week (of this pregnancy) was super long, and im not sure why. maybe because i just said how quickly things were going in my last post? anyway.. so i've decided to abandon my "real to me" pregnancy progress (28w1d) and just stick to the doctor's version, since that's the timeline that will be determining any decisions we make over the course of time. so from now on ill just stick to the dr's timeline, which puts me at 27w4d. i think that i finally decided to abandon the other timeline because (a) its only a few days (b) thats what the doc is saying (c) thats what lovedove wants me to go by. she wants me to go by the later date because that would put us at 38 weeks a few days into January, as opposed to the 38 week mark falling on like the 1st or 2nd. that will hopefully give her enough time to get back to work for at least a few days so its not like she just extends her xmas/new years break (shes a teacher) which they (any higher-ups/admin people) tend to look down on.

baby continues to kick me and get stronger which i love, and i've been watching my belly move around from the outside if she's feeling rambunctious enough to cause some movement on the outside which is awesome and strange. lovedove has been able to feel her more and more while we lay in bed or watch tv, but i haven't really been comfortable enough to have anyone else try to feel. plus i feel like i wind up putting pressure on myself/baby to actually do something when people do have their hand on my belly. stupid i know, but i just feel that way. recently she's begun kicking me in the bladder which is a very interesting sensation. its like, omg i really really have to pee all of a sudden, but it passes within a minute or two.

today was sofia's first group trip with her playgroup. we went to a local farm/petting zoo and before we even left i was spent. she was just being a disagreeable 2 year old, but i was pretty much in tears out of frustration before we even left. add on top of that, that we had to find street parking so that the buses (of school/daycare/etc kids on trips) could fill the parking lot, we had to wait 45 minutes for a guide to pick up our small group, and our guide was pretty bitchy for someone who leads tours for children everyday. sofia had also been up since 7am, refused to nap in the car, and gave me a hard time about absolutely every step of the getting ready process. it was barely enjoyable, which is really sad for me to say, but it was true. i forget that im pretty  much 7 months pregnant and walking around a farm for 2 hours isn't as easy as usual. sofia was so tired that she hardly wanted to pet the animals or get out of her stroller. the day was pretty gray so that didn't really help either. thankfully i had brought my sister along and she was a TREMENDOUS help. especially because pregnant women were not allowed on the hay ride so i was glad sofia go to go on. im sure the other moms from playgroup would have been willing to take her along, but she might have cried. she's kind of a wuss like that, especially when she is tired. it was a super long 2 hours, then i took my sister to lunch, then i had a regular check up. almost needless to say, i was completely exhuasted by the end of all of this, and called out of work. whatever, i hardly ever do and i was only scheduled to have 3 clients today, and the last one at 6:45 i can.not.stand. she's way too crazy for me, i've tried to transfer her to another clinician, but she wants to stick with me. sigh.

i tacked on another 6lbs this month, which brings the total weight gain to 18lbs, not too bad i guess but im wondering how high that number will climb. when my doctor said i had gained 6lbs (just a comment in passing to let me know) i responded with  "yea brownies will do that" and she's like "yea, especially when you know you can't have them". i kind of smiled and nodded, but my brain was thinking, what the fuck are you talking about lady? first of all, there is only a small list of foods/beverages pregnant ladies really can't have, but you dont tell a pregnant lady that she can't or shouldn't eat something like a friggin brownie. second,  i think that doctors forget that diabetics who wear pumps, can pretty much eat whatever the fuck they want and still keep things in check. at least i can, for now, so i'll continue to eat a brownie whenever i choose, even if it is almost every day.

other than today i continue to feel pretty good on a daily basis, just tired as usual. that falling-asleep-as-my-head-hits-the-pillow thing has unfortunately stopped for some time now, and i kind of struggle to fall asleep every night, despite being completely tired. my belly is getting bigger, but i think that the stretch marks haven't quite multiplied yet. i've started putting some body butter type stuff on 2x a day, and if nothing else, it helps to have sofia and lovedove connect some more with the belly (they take turns helping to apply the lotion), plus it keeps to create a stickier surface for the full panel of my maternity jeans to cling to. it really does, its pretty helpful actually.

anyway i hope everyone is feeling good, and i hope everyone is eating brownies wherever you are, pregnant or not! brownies are (part of my) heaven.

9w (until im told different)

i have my 9w sono today and my first visit at Winthrop. im hoping that i fit well there. the only thing that seems like it might be a constant issue that requires attention is their "no children" policy at the appts. its inconvenient for me, clearly, but luckily Sofia's two grandmas have pretty flexible schedules so im hoping i'll always be able to set her up somewhere and then head to the appts. so today i think im just meeting with an ob nurse or someone on the ob staff, and next week is my appt with the doctor.

i keep forgetting to tell you about the insane dreams i've been having lately. i wake up totally entertained by the memory of these.

in the last week, i've dreamt that:
1. i took one hit off of a glass pipe (that looked like a crack pipe) but had mj in it, bc i forgot that i was pregnant, and then remembered
2. was in a bar and drank two beers, completely aware that i was pregnant, and kept telling everyone that it was fine
3. that for some reason, myself, my sister, and one of her friends, had to kill a convicted felon. yes, our job was to kill him, almost with our bare hands. i think i hit him with a textbook and broke his nose, but i kept crying because i didn't want to kill him. it was the strangest dream i think ive ever had. we were in some like empty apartment or some big empty space and we were chasing him and trying to hit him hard with stuff we could find. it was horrible. wtf.
4. that i read a post by 2girlsandababy that they got their bfp and posted a pic. its very odd to me that i now dream of blog stuff.

i cant wait to dream more, i think this is all hysterical.

all of my symptoms seem to be getting stronger. boobs are getting bigger/sorer (when i was measured the other day Motherh.ood maternity, they measured me as an E/F, im usually a DDD, which i guess is technically an E, but i dont let myself think about that bc E sounds enormous, and F just sounds way too close to G and this all scares me greatly) nausea is more present daily but no puking yet, and i now have noticeable cravings/aversions. cravings include cookies and milk (BIG TIME) anything sweet, and chicken nuggets lol, and so far i guess i have some aversions to certain healthy foods that i usually love ie sweet potatoes and artichokes. its odd, i love those usually. so based on all of these factors im expecting good news today. im expecting to see that baby is doing just what s/he should be doing (oh baby's gender is another thing) and hopefully all is going well.

baby's gender. at least one person (who would not have known that i was pregnant unless we told her) swears up and down that she knows im having a boy. people swore up and down that lovedove was pregnant with a boy but all of the old wives tale things we did said girl (we didn't find out Sofia's gender until her birth day). ok, you can have a gut feeling, but i dont understand these people's need to predict a baby's gender correctly. you've got a 50/50 chance of being right, why get so crazy about it? i think i have to find out this baby's gender before the birth day. i really want to know. i wish i could know right now!