thoughts about this morning... lovedove left and has already arrived safely at her destination. i thought i would be way more emotional when we dropped her off, but i was kind of cold and detached. i almost feel like it was better that way. sofia on the other hand got upset when lovedove kissed her goodbye and closed the back passenger door. when i reentered the car after giving a quick hug and kiss, sofia was already half crying and calling "mama, mamaa". it broke my heart. i told her mommy had to go to work, which is the truth, i just didnt tell her that work would be a few days long instead of a few hours long. to try to put a smile back on her face i took her to McDonal.ds for breakfast. One of our local McD's has a "birthday train" and it is kind of just like one of those quarter machine rides, except its stationary and oversized, and its made out of small booths that are back to back. only the first and last booth have any train extension if that is understandable at all. we were able to have a seat in the first booth, a half booth, with just the bench to sit on and the table located in the engine room/front part of the train. its very difficult to describe this thing. (i took a picture on my phone which would be very simple to post, but lovedove and i still havent discussed posting close up/clear pictures of us/our family and if that would cross the line of this blog being "too" personal). needless to say, we had a great breakfast, she smiled the whole time, and she got a free toy from one of the nice women working there at 7:15 on a sunday morning. when we got home, we played a bunch then watched Enchanted. i fucking love that movie. Sofia managed to say awake for the whole movie which was impressive, and i think we both really enjoyed it. then she laid down for a nap, i showered, and now im on the computer for a few minutes. its been a phenomenal day despite the departure of my love.
thoughts about tomorrow.... got the call from the RE's office. my instructions are to be at their far away location at 10:45 tomorrow morning for my single embryo transfer, with a "comfortably full" bladder. can someone tell me what comfortably full means? that doesnt exist in my world. if my bladder is full, im uncomfortable. i understand that it needs to be full for the abdominal sonogram but im kind of dreading this. add to that the fact that my lower abdomen has been bloated and distended as well as slightly sore since the egg retrieval, i really do not have high hopes for the potential level of discomfort i'm going to experience. whatever though, God knows ill do anything to get to where i want to be in this situation. im glad its not super early, or too close to rush hour, i just hope its not too difficult to time. one of the nurses had said to empty my bladder before the drive to the office and drink fluids in the car on the way. sounds like a good enough plan. hoping that i dont get delayed or anything once i arrive. i think ill leave on the early side to allow time for picking up my friend(my emotional support since mom and sister are working, mother in law is watching sof at home) and allowing time for potential traffic. i figure if i get there 15 minutes early i can either sit in the parking lot or the waiting room. oh im sure my head will be spinning way too fast tomorrow.
other thoughts.... i can not believe that there are embryos with my dna sitting in a little dish, waiting for me. at this very moment, they exist and each one of them is potentially our baby. this shit blows my mind. if i tried to explain this to my (very old school) 91year old grandmother, i think she might faint, and then ask for a shot of scotch (what she attributes her long healthy life to: a shot of scotch when you are in pain/cant sleep, a pb&j every morning, and frying eggplant and cauliflower. omg i love her too much i could write a million word post about her). i just can not believe that we are so fortunate to have amazing insurance, the money we saved for this exact purpose (which is starting to dwindle), and a healthy "baby" girl to keep us busy and sane and present in the moment through this whole escapade. not to mention an overwhelming amount of support from our family and friends (and fellow bloggers) that are privy to this process. i just feel so blessed even with everything we've gone through, and i hope that we get to the next part of our journey soon.
which brings me to my next thought.. we havent gotten any new information about the embies since we were told how many were fertilized. im assuming that tomorrow they'll tell me all about the one(s) that was/were strong enough to last the few days in the artificial environment. i hope that i get to see pictures of the cells, so many women seem to be given pictures or glances of pictures that wind up on their blog and id be really interested in seeing my own little guys in the earliest stages. are they able to tell the gender of each blast? is that possible this early? i have no idea actually. i just wonder.
and my last random thoughts are about trying to give advice for anyone who does an egg retrieval. stay hydrated and rest, which is probably what your doctor will tell you, but really, stay hydrated. yesterday i didn't drink enough water and/or gat.orade (i read online that a few women said they were told to drink 100 oz of gat.orade a day) and i felt like garbage. the bloating was so much worse, i was super uncomfortable. the egg retrieval itself is not bad at all, the following days aren't as wonderful, at least for me they werent.
wow this is long. felt good to get it all out though, just qotd left...
13. Describe your dream vacation.
at this point in time id have to say that it would just be lovedove and i, on some magical 6 month excursion, in a crazy dream/bubble where we didnt miss our babies (fur and human) and we travel to a bunch of different destinations around the world. beaches/resorts, historic sites, party towns, jungles, desserts, big cities, places known for their natural beauty, etc. but i dont think we'd be staying at the ice hotel in sweden, but id love to go to sweden too. i know that is a very non-descript overview, but i guess i dont know what our dream vacation would be. my brain isn't focused enough to even try to formulate a more thought out answer at this point in time. maybe ill come back to this one to elaborate, one day.
Showing posts with label egg retrieval. Show all posts
Showing posts with label egg retrieval. Show all posts
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
egg retrieval complete
this morning seemed to go as well as it could have. Sofia's G-ma (my mother) arrived on time to allow us to leave on time, we were up and out of the house on time, we got to the clinic early, and they took me in to check my vitals pretty swiftly. we didnt realize that lovedove could come back and sit with me prior to the procedure, but after i read through about 2 magazines they brought her back so that she could bring me my insulin pump remote control as the anesthesiologist had asked if i had suspended my insulin, but i hadnt. so she came back and sat with me for the last 20 minutes before they took me in. then i was brought into the procedure room, laid down and got all prepped for a few minutes, and was out like a light pretty quickly. less than an hour later i was up and NOT feeling nauseous. thank God. ate some saltines, drank some Hi-C and i was out of there in about an hour. i was actually feeling good enough to head to IHOP (we rarely go but always enjoy it as a treat when we do) but i have been significantly groggy. groggy like, when you're kind of drunk and your eyes move a little slower than your head when your head turns. i got chocolate chip pancakes, ate about half of them, and was pleasantly surprised with how much i enjoyed them, and again i was thanking my lucky stars that i was not feeling shitty and nauseous. lovedove drove us home and we cuddled on the couch when we got home.
(*somewhat angry/irritated side note that there is so much behind this next rant im not even going to go into it... my mother had to be here at 6.30. she was. i called her at 10 to let her know everything went well, she said she might go to costco to pick up her new glasses. that was the only part of her plan we were aware of. so when we returned home at 12, exactly when we told her we'd be home, she and Sofia weren't here. i figured maybe they had left late and were still out. i called about fifteen minutes ago as they're not home yet. she said she was giving the baby lunch at her place. communication is such a poor skill for my mother, why the hell cant she give me a heads up and just let me know wheres shes at? she always hijacks the baby. its very annoying that she doesnt know how to enjoy Sofia in a group. she and my father always seem to need like alone time to feel like they can bond with her. its strange and annoying. needless to say they are wonderful caring supportive grand/parents, but things like this drive myself and lovedove nuts.)
enough of that crap, the good news.
the doctor said they were able to retrieve 20 eggs. i am thrilled with that. im really hopeful that we'll have a few eggs fertilize and we'll have some to freeze in case we're not lucky the first time. he said that we are probably looking at a day 5 transfer, cant wait. today i must have said 5 times already to lovedove, "our next baby is (potentially) starting today". i just cant believe it. its amazing to finally be here. the doctor did give me a new prescription for a medication to take for the next week to try to prevent ohss, just because of the large number of eggs he was able to retrieve, not that my estrogen is up too high or anything. i love him, he's just so professional and wonderful and honest and nice.
on a crazy side note, arizona lawmakers are doing some crazy shit, recapped by my bro Stephen Colbert here. crazy, life begins at ovulation? come on now.
qotd 9
If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills of course)? List 10 things you would buy or spend money on.
1. a house, this may never be financially possible for us in NY unless we win the lottery, which we dont play lol
2. cameras, id start with a dslr that ive been desiring for years, and then work my way up as i became a better photographer
3. TRAVEL - i've barely gone anywhere out of the US and i want to go anywhere/everywhere.
4. a gym membership
5. a new car or 2 tee hee
6. sports equipment, expensive softball bats, a basketball hoop, swimming equipment/waterproof mp3 player
7. a bigger tv, not huge, we're not like crazy electronics people
8. a new ipod
9. eating out/buying restaurant gift cards that way even when we got tired of eating out so often we could save the gift cards
10. a beach house in southern california
11. sex toys, they're just too damn expensive for how rarely they're employed but they are fun items, just couldnt leave them off the list
of course i would give some to family members, buy houses for family, etc, but these are like the frivolous purchases i would make. some of these may not seem like huge ticket items, but i feel like as a family, lovedove and i, (more me, she kind of doesnt have many materialistic desires other than clothes/shoes) kind of don't upgrade stuff that isnt necessary. like im sure you saw ipod and were like, well just go out and get one. the one i have is probably 7 years old but still kickin, and honestly i dont take the train to work anymore so i really dont need a new one, but if i had money to blow i'd get a new one. so i feel like my list seems really juvenile but it is what it is.
looking forward to posting the details as i get them in the next few days about the eggs/embryos etc. cant believe its finally my turn to blog about this stuff!
its almost 3pm and i miss my daughter, she still not back. arg.
until tomorrow ladies :o)
(*somewhat angry/irritated side note that there is so much behind this next rant im not even going to go into it... my mother had to be here at 6.30. she was. i called her at 10 to let her know everything went well, she said she might go to costco to pick up her new glasses. that was the only part of her plan we were aware of. so when we returned home at 12, exactly when we told her we'd be home, she and Sofia weren't here. i figured maybe they had left late and were still out. i called about fifteen minutes ago as they're not home yet. she said she was giving the baby lunch at her place. communication is such a poor skill for my mother, why the hell cant she give me a heads up and just let me know wheres shes at? she always hijacks the baby. its very annoying that she doesnt know how to enjoy Sofia in a group. she and my father always seem to need like alone time to feel like they can bond with her. its strange and annoying. needless to say they are wonderful caring supportive grand/parents, but things like this drive myself and lovedove nuts.)
enough of that crap, the good news.
the doctor said they were able to retrieve 20 eggs. i am thrilled with that. im really hopeful that we'll have a few eggs fertilize and we'll have some to freeze in case we're not lucky the first time. he said that we are probably looking at a day 5 transfer, cant wait. today i must have said 5 times already to lovedove, "our next baby is (potentially) starting today". i just cant believe it. its amazing to finally be here. the doctor did give me a new prescription for a medication to take for the next week to try to prevent ohss, just because of the large number of eggs he was able to retrieve, not that my estrogen is up too high or anything. i love him, he's just so professional and wonderful and honest and nice.
on a crazy side note, arizona lawmakers are doing some crazy shit, recapped by my bro Stephen Colbert here. crazy, life begins at ovulation? come on now.
qotd 9
If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills of course)? List 10 things you would buy or spend money on.
1. a house, this may never be financially possible for us in NY unless we win the lottery, which we dont play lol
2. cameras, id start with a dslr that ive been desiring for years, and then work my way up as i became a better photographer
3. TRAVEL - i've barely gone anywhere out of the US and i want to go anywhere/everywhere.
4. a gym membership
5. a new car or 2 tee hee
6. sports equipment, expensive softball bats, a basketball hoop, swimming equipment/waterproof mp3 player
7. a bigger tv, not huge, we're not like crazy electronics people
8. a new ipod
9. eating out/buying restaurant gift cards that way even when we got tired of eating out so often we could save the gift cards
10. a beach house in southern california
11. sex toys, they're just too damn expensive for how rarely they're employed but they are fun items, just couldnt leave them off the list
of course i would give some to family members, buy houses for family, etc, but these are like the frivolous purchases i would make. some of these may not seem like huge ticket items, but i feel like as a family, lovedove and i, (more me, she kind of doesnt have many materialistic desires other than clothes/shoes) kind of don't upgrade stuff that isnt necessary. like im sure you saw ipod and were like, well just go out and get one. the one i have is probably 7 years old but still kickin, and honestly i dont take the train to work anymore so i really dont need a new one, but if i had money to blow i'd get a new one. so i feel like my list seems really juvenile but it is what it is.
looking forward to posting the details as i get them in the next few days about the eggs/embryos etc. cant believe its finally my turn to blog about this stuff!
its almost 3pm and i miss my daughter, she still not back. arg.
until tomorrow ladies :o)
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
the day before -the procedure before- the big day
no problem with trigger last night, did bloods this morning at the close office, then went over 10ish pages of directions, what to expect, medication instruction for the next 2.5 weeks. all the way up until my pregnancy blood test, currently scheduled for friday may 11th. holy guacamole batman, this is really going to happen. isnt it just "perfect" timing since the 11th is 2 days before mothers day?? yea, perfect if i wind up with a bfp, kind of devastating if i wind up with a bfn. ill either be intoxicated on happiness or alcohol come mothers day. whatever.
i feel like the fucking easter bunny with a basket full of eggs. if im not mistaken there are quite a few of them in there, and im looking forward to finding out exactly how many are in there. pretty sure my dr will tell lovedove by the time we leave the clinic tomorrow. im also looking forward to the "twilight" anesthesia they're going to give me. i hope i say a bunch of shit and wind up a lot less nauseous than i usually am after general anesthesia.
i took off tomorrow and thurs, as well as mon and tues of next week so that i can just try to clear my brain and rest my body for this. clearly thats taking a moderate hit financially, but i feel like it might not be the worst thing to do. im going to try to just be as calm as i can be, especially since lovedove will be away from sunday to thurs. its going to be a rough few days but i know we'll get through it.
random side note, love that cbs is pushing the prime time lgbt sex/intimacy envelope on the good wife. i have quite the crush on kalinda. props to cbs, in case you want to read more about the exact scene. i absolutely love the sight of 2 women together, it doesnt even have to be sexual, i mean that scene is, but i just love seeing the love that i live, portrayed on a huge stage for everyone. its just so beautiful to me. anyway enough about me being a huge lesbian who loves women.
qotd 8
If an observant stranger were to talk into your home, what clues would lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
currently there isnt anything really out except for the papers that i received today talking about pre and post retrieval, my medications list and instructions, etc. my medications are away in the closet, theres nothing marked on the calendar explicitly. another meh question. at least im keeping this up.
i feel like the fucking easter bunny with a basket full of eggs. if im not mistaken there are quite a few of them in there, and im looking forward to finding out exactly how many are in there. pretty sure my dr will tell lovedove by the time we leave the clinic tomorrow. im also looking forward to the "twilight" anesthesia they're going to give me. i hope i say a bunch of shit and wind up a lot less nauseous than i usually am after general anesthesia.
i took off tomorrow and thurs, as well as mon and tues of next week so that i can just try to clear my brain and rest my body for this. clearly thats taking a moderate hit financially, but i feel like it might not be the worst thing to do. im going to try to just be as calm as i can be, especially since lovedove will be away from sunday to thurs. its going to be a rough few days but i know we'll get through it.
random side note, love that cbs is pushing the prime time lgbt sex/intimacy envelope on the good wife. i have quite the crush on kalinda. props to cbs, in case you want to read more about the exact scene. i absolutely love the sight of 2 women together, it doesnt even have to be sexual, i mean that scene is, but i just love seeing the love that i live, portrayed on a huge stage for everyone. its just so beautiful to me. anyway enough about me being a huge lesbian who loves women.
qotd 8
If an observant stranger were to talk into your home, what clues would lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
currently there isnt anything really out except for the papers that i received today talking about pre and post retrieval, my medications list and instructions, etc. my medications are away in the closet, theres nothing marked on the calendar explicitly. another meh question. at least im keeping this up.
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