we're back

got home from vacation late tuesday night and we've been settling back into reality ever since. the trip was fantastic, we had a great time, and everything was almost perfect. the girls were great on the plane rides, no screaming or fussing, though Sofia does a heck of a job at fighting sleep on long flights. Sofia got to swim in the pool at the hotel, jump on her cousin's huge trampoline (everyday), go to the beach, go to Dis.neyland, have a ton of play time with cousins and family, and meet Cinderella. I thought she was going to lose her shit when she met Cinderella, well she was overjoyed, but i kind of lost my shit. i cried a bunch, but how could i not? my 2.5yr old got to meet her favorite princess. here's a piece of Dis.ney magic:

i could cry right now looking at that picture. i dont think ill ever forget that moment. i cant believe the 4 pictures i managed to take came out so well, i was fumbling over my camera like an idiot bc i was so excited for Sofia. anyway, we got great shots of the 2 of them and Cinderella was so sweet. Sofia ran right into her arms and she hugged her for a long time. i think sofia is trying to kiss her in this picture but who cares?! she loves her!

our day at dis.ney was great, we got kind of a slow start to the morning, but did a few rides before we went home (to cousin's house about 15 minutes away) for lunch and a nap. i had pumped several times a day in the days leading up to our trip so that we could leave Laila with her Gramma and other family and luckily there was plenty of milk for the day and night. we headed back to the park around 5pm and stayed until 11. it was a fantastic day.

we saw tons of family which was good, but highly emotional with the ending of visits. for easter we had a huge gathering at the cousin house and Laila got to meet almost the entire side of the family that is out in cali. she was really good the whole trip, smiling and cooing at almost everyone who held her. she's quite the little chatterbox, and she's also a ham. none of her hair has fallen out though it does appear more sparse because her head is growing. her eyes are still blue and im hoping they stay that way. she sleeps really well but requires a tight swaddle as her arm and leg movements often keep her up longer than she'd like to be up. she's been sleeping a bunch lately so im thinking she's growing. she's a lot of fun and an awesome happy healthy baby, thank God. shes still terrible at binkies but shes making slow progress.

after the frequent pumping of the first half of our trip, i took some days off. its been a little rough getting the results im used to seeing after the mini break so im back to pumping a bunch to try to get back into the swing of things.

i feel like im so out of the routine of blogging, but i just dont seem to have any time lately. im drowning in a crazy amount of paperwork at work, but i feel like im always rushing home to try to get to Laila in time for her next feeding. my mon-thurs time with lovedove is so scarce that i never want to blog at night, but the days seem to be so filled with child care. plus i feel like i barely have anything to blog about anymore, i mean im sure i would have stuff to write about, if i had more time.

signed Sofia up for nursery school in the fall. she'll go for 3 hours in the morning,  days a week. im looking forward to it, but im kind of nervous about it. how is my little baby girl ready for school already??

anyway Sofia just woke up from her nap.

oh, proud breastfeeding mom moment of the week: i fed laila while making & flipping pancakes in my kitchen  yesterday  morning. yea try to picture that lol

milk+boobs

breastfeeding. it has been rough. my nipples have been sore more than they've not been. not sure if we're having a latching issue.maybe she's not latching on exactly where she should be, like she's not hitting a bullseye?? or maybe she's not latching as deeply as she should be. but sometimes she gets so mad that i dont even care where/how she latches that im just glad she's not yelling at me anymore. i mean i never let her stay on if i'm experiencing discomfort for more than 30 seconds, but i think that first 30 second pain is something a friend recently referred to as "lightning boob". i'm not sure if this is something that a lot of nursing moms experience, or if it's something that moms-that-aren't-as-good-at-breastfeeding-as-they-think-they-are experience. yes i realize i might be in this group.

however, i'm confident that laila is getting what she needs from me. she eats well, is usually able to focus on the task at hand, and wants to eat often. sometimes its an hour between feedings, sometimes its 4.5 hours. i actually set an alarm every night to wake me up to wake her up to eat. i know its kind of a (grandma's) rule not to wake a sleeping baby, but i've never really paid attention to that one. with sofia i always took a you're-on-my-schedule approach, if i needed to go to a dr appt, meet someone for lunch, etc. i never seriously messed with her schedule, if she needed one of her needs met, hunger/diaper change/etc, i tended to her needs. however if it was a matter of her napping in her crib and i needed to get out, i would just transfer her to her car seat, were i was pretty confident she would continue napping, which she usually did. laila will most likely face the same fate. anyway, so i have to wake her up to eat in the middle of the night. i do not want to see how long she can actually go without eating. i'm too afraid she'd wake up crazy starving and literally ruin my breasts with her crazy eating. she gets kind of aggressive. she's tried several times to ferociously nurse on several female family members and friends much to their surprise. its always funny to me.

i think my milk is continuing to come in more and more with the frequency of her feedings. due to my sore nipples, pumping is scary for me right now, plus she hardly ever gives me any time to pump bc on some days she eats almost constantly. for example, this morning she ate at 7:30, 8:30, 9:30, and 10:30 before taking a long leisurely nap on the couch in the sunshine. at this moment it's 12:12 and i know my minutes are numbered until she's ready to eat again.

i've been concerned about starting to try to stockpile milk for her for when i return to work/have extended periods of time away from her/take a few hours off from feeding her to knock a couple drinks back (which im starting to really itch for). and since my nipples are scared of the pump when they're sore, i've ventured into the world of hand expressing milk. the woman who ran the breastfeeding class i attended in the hospital mentioned it and how to do it, but recently i looked into it via the world wide web. there are videos out there, but i have only read instructional articles at this point. i did some "expressing" yesterday, and then again today and i've gotten about 1.5 ozs so far. not a lot, but enough to be proud of, and enough for my nipples to be thankful that they didn't have to face the pump to get. i might not have gotten as much as i would have with the pump, but it was far more comfortable and didn't take any longer than a pumping session would. plus today i got a whole ounce after feeding laila all morning, so i felt really good about that. i feel like doing it by hand can help to get some of the hind milk from ducts further back in the breast that the pump just can't get to. plus its very rewarding when you find a good spot and your milk just flows(squirts) into the bottle. i've always been a fan of doing things with my hands, ie crafts,crocheting,attempting to fix things/car activities, so this is another thing to add to my activity list.

i keep hoping that my nipples will get less sore (during the latch) as time goes on, because once she's on things are fine. she's been on for the entire second half of this post and i haven't experience any discomfort, unless she tugs one way or another, little maniac. i guess ill just wait and see and if i continue to experience "lightning boob" during the latch, i might have to contact a lactation consultant. another thing on my to-do list that i would rather not address. 

anyway, we're only 3 weeks into breastfeeding, so i hope i can look back on this post later and say i've made progress in a few weeks. fingers crossed.....