Monday, January 23, 2012

9 dpiui/dpo

clearly no news as i am sticking to my word to not test until i'm actually late. my boobs have been sore but they were sore last cycle too, pretty sure its the clomid. the clomid definitely gives me pretend early symptoms like sore boobs, irritability, etc. ive also been eating a ton, but im pretty sure im just eating my stress.

in a week, at this time of day, i may or may not know anything. based on last cycle's extended length, im guessing that if i dont have any spotting by the end of next monday, then i'll test on tuesday with fmu. i truly just feel like its unbelievable how much i (and every other woman ttc) want to be pregnant. some women have absolutely no desire to be birth mothers at all, and for me, there is nothing else in the world that i want more. i've done all i can to get my diabetes under crazy control, i've given in to fate, i know i have no control over anything else, and i know that when everything is right, it will happen. im just so terrible at waiting. our last 2ww seems like a piece of cake compared to this one bc we had family visiting from out of state, holidays to celebrate, etc. this one is just dragging. literally dragging. ug, good thing i have work, and an exciting weekend ahead to get me through the last of it.

this saturday ill be going to see Stick Fly, a new play on Broadway. We're not much of theater goers, but only because we cant afford to be. we love seeing shows and my mother in law bought us tickets for my birthday (2/6). so im really excited about that. speaking of my birthday, my friends are going to be very surprised if i do nothing for my birthday, im usually quite excited about getting a little more tipsy than i should to celebrate my birth. whatever, if this cycle winds up with a bfn, ill just see who is available that friday night and see who wants to throw a couple back, and if i wind up with a bfp (wouldnt that be incredible?!) then ill just say im too tired and i have a cold or some crap like that. really unrealistic for me, but whatever.

so my wife told me yesterday that she thinks im pregnant but has been trying to not say anything to me bc she doesnt want to get our hopes up. when i asked her why she thinks that, she simply said that when she thinks of me lately at work she just feels happy(-happier than usual i guess? i would hope she feels happy when she thinks about me, sheesh). so im going to try to ride that happy little vibe all the way into next week.

keeping my fingers, and toes, and eyes crossed.


  1. Getting closer to testing time. There really should be an easier way of knowing rather than all this useless waiting. Best of luck!

  2. Rarely do we find the end results to these things, I need results people!!