Tuesday, October 30, 2012

we're totally fine

well ladies, we're perfectly fine. im sure that the news about hurricane sandy is all over the place. the devastation has been horrific, lives lost, so much property destroyed. we, fortunately have escaped the storm literally unscathed. we live in a part of queens that is pretty far inland so water was not an issue for us. i was convinced that we'd lose power, we never did. all the water bottles i had filled and put in the fridge are still there. feeling super fortunate and super thankful, and super sure that we'll never live near the water, as beautiful as those areas are during non emergency weather times.

with all of that said, lovedove continues to be surprsied with the continuation of nyc schools. mayor bloomie just informed us that schools are closed again tomorrow, so now we're waiting to see if Sofia's playgroup's halloween party is on. i kind of hope so that way we have some place to take her to as she's getting a little cabin-fever-ie, but i would understand if they didnt. i'm hoping my sonogram is still on for tomorrow. going to call to double check later today.

continuing to stock up on family time and we all wont return to work until at least thurs. hurts my paycheck, but money (or lack there of) is nothing when you've got your health and safety after a storm like this.

pretty much all of our homeowner friends live in the more affected areas of long island. im glad they're safe and sound and hope their damage isn't too bad, but i'm not sure about a few of them. fingers crossed.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

28w and a frankenstorm

we live in nyc, and currently they're pretty  much shutting down the city in preparation of this frankenstorm. its a combo of hurricane sandy, and some cold front coming across the north east. we're not big freaker-outers when it comes to storms, we're never the lets-go-clear-the-water-isle and stock-up-on-canned-goods people. however, when they shut down the entire mta (all busses and trains) AND close the schools, which never happens, AND shut down the stock market, i kind of start to get a little nervous. luckily we don't live near any water, doesnt seem like there would be any reason that we'd need to evacuate, and i think we have everything we might need for a few days.

im super thankful that all of my diabetes devices pretty much run on batteries and i have a bunch of insulin on hand. im also thankful that im not further along in my pregnancy as id be pretty nervous. the couple that moved in a few weeks ago (directly above us) are 35 weeks pregnant. im glad thats not the boat we're in. we did do a (regularly scheduled) grocery shopping so we've got plenty of food in the house. im pretty interested in how this all winds up. if/when will our power go out? for how long? will the old nyc pipes be able to handle all of the water that might potentially come down? do i need to worry about our crappy windows? real ny-ers are not accustomed to hurricanes. all of this and the pretty much constant news coverage just leaves lovedove and i feeling pretty anxious about the unknown.

baby can totally tell that a storm is brewing, she's been really active today which is nice. i could even tell how much she was jumping around when we were out and about this morning. we made sure to hit up the county fall festival and we made sure to get Sofia there so that she could be out in her costume since the weather on wednesday seems questionable. we had a really nice time and im really glad that we went. it was at the same place we went to on the trip last week, but it was a much more enjoyable experience without the busloads of children.

oh and today (i think) marks the official start of my third trimester. that sounds wild, and im very thankful for that as well. ticker says 84 days, and i doubt that my doctor would let me go over, so we're certainly getting there. i wanna know what this baby looks like!

anyway, wondering what the near future holds. hoping this crazy weather doesnt screw up my scheduled sonogram (where i intend to beg for a 4d shot to get a glimpse of this child's face) and non-stress test scheduled for wednesday. its my first non-stress test, anyone wanna fill me in on what i can expect?

with that said, hoping you are all safe at home, in better weather than we're expecting, and feeling good.

guess what im making to add to the available snacks tonight.. ill give you one guess.... yup!

BROWNIES!!! muahahahahahahahaha

Thursday, October 25, 2012

kicking my ass... and my bladder

so i feel like the last week (of this pregnancy) was super long, and im not sure why. maybe because i just said how quickly things were going in my last post? anyway.. so i've decided to abandon my "real to me" pregnancy progress (28w1d) and just stick to the doctor's version, since that's the timeline that will be determining any decisions we make over the course of time. so from now on ill just stick to the dr's timeline, which puts me at 27w4d. i think that i finally decided to abandon the other timeline because (a) its only a few days (b) thats what the doc is saying (c) thats what lovedove wants me to go by. she wants me to go by the later date because that would put us at 38 weeks a few days into January, as opposed to the 38 week mark falling on like the 1st or 2nd. that will hopefully give her enough time to get back to work for at least a few days so its not like she just extends her xmas/new years break (shes a teacher) which they (any higher-ups/admin people) tend to look down on.

baby continues to kick me and get stronger which i love, and i've been watching my belly move around from the outside if she's feeling rambunctious enough to cause some movement on the outside which is awesome and strange. lovedove has been able to feel her more and more while we lay in bed or watch tv, but i haven't really been comfortable enough to have anyone else try to feel. plus i feel like i wind up putting pressure on myself/baby to actually do something when people do have their hand on my belly. stupid i know, but i just feel that way. recently she's begun kicking me in the bladder which is a very interesting sensation. its like, omg i really really have to pee all of a sudden, but it passes within a minute or two.

today was sofia's first group trip with her playgroup. we went to a local farm/petting zoo and before we even left i was spent. she was just being a disagreeable 2 year old, but i was pretty much in tears out of frustration before we even left. add on top of that, that we had to find street parking so that the buses (of school/daycare/etc kids on trips) could fill the parking lot, we had to wait 45 minutes for a guide to pick up our small group, and our guide was pretty bitchy for someone who leads tours for children everyday. sofia had also been up since 7am, refused to nap in the car, and gave me a hard time about absolutely every step of the getting ready process. it was barely enjoyable, which is really sad for me to say, but it was true. i forget that im pretty  much 7 months pregnant and walking around a farm for 2 hours isn't as easy as usual. sofia was so tired that she hardly wanted to pet the animals or get out of her stroller. the day was pretty gray so that didn't really help either. thankfully i had brought my sister along and she was a TREMENDOUS help. especially because pregnant women were not allowed on the hay ride so i was glad sofia go to go on. im sure the other moms from playgroup would have been willing to take her along, but she might have cried. she's kind of a wuss like that, especially when she is tired. it was a super long 2 hours, then i took my sister to lunch, then i had a regular check up. almost needless to say, i was completely exhuasted by the end of all of this, and called out of work. whatever, i hardly ever do and i was only scheduled to have 3 clients today, and the last one at 6:45 i can.not.stand. she's way too crazy for me, i've tried to transfer her to another clinician, but she wants to stick with me. sigh.

i tacked on another 6lbs this month, which brings the total weight gain to 18lbs, not too bad i guess but im wondering how high that number will climb. when my doctor said i had gained 6lbs (just a comment in passing to let me know) i responded with  "yea brownies will do that" and she's like "yea, especially when you know you can't have them". i kind of smiled and nodded, but my brain was thinking, what the fuck are you talking about lady? first of all, there is only a small list of foods/beverages pregnant ladies really can't have, but you dont tell a pregnant lady that she can't or shouldn't eat something like a friggin brownie. second,  i think that doctors forget that diabetics who wear pumps, can pretty much eat whatever the fuck they want and still keep things in check. at least i can, for now, so i'll continue to eat a brownie whenever i choose, even if it is almost every day.

other than today i continue to feel pretty good on a daily basis, just tired as usual. that falling-asleep-as-my-head-hits-the-pillow thing has unfortunately stopped for some time now, and i kind of struggle to fall asleep every night, despite being completely tired. my belly is getting bigger, but i think that the stretch marks haven't quite multiplied yet. i've started putting some body butter type stuff on 2x a day, and if nothing else, it helps to have sofia and lovedove connect some more with the belly (they take turns helping to apply the lotion), plus it keeps to create a stickier surface for the full panel of my maternity jeans to cling to. it really does, its pretty helpful actually.

anyway i hope everyone is feeling good, and i hope everyone is eating brownies wherever you are, pregnant or not! brownies are (part of my) heaven.

Saturday, October 20, 2012


im so in love with baby's moving all around. she makes me feel calm when i can feel her, its amazing how calm i feel when she's wiggling around. i'm pretty sure that she knows immediately any time i try to share her with anyone else, because she pretty much refuses to act up in those moments. performance anxiety already?

my parents are starting to act like this is real, which is kind of nice, but frustrating that it took this many months for it to start to be real to them. my dad touched my belly for the first time (probably in my adult life) the other day, it was really brief and sweet. my mom attended the most recent sonogram and didn't seem that impressed, but said she "almost" cried. thanks mom. way to go on being in touch with your emotional side/having health responses to emotional feelings. whatever.

another thing. i was pretty convinced (why i don't know) that since i've been bigger/somewhat overweight my entire life i was not going to get stretch marks. wrong-o. i've already got some on the underside of my belly, supporting my idea that im carrying moderately low. i've decided that ill do my best to lotion up and try to avoid too many of them. i'll take em, but i dont want them. im also scared about how much and how quickly my belly is going to grow. im not too big now, i know i will be by the end. oy.

so thats about it, halfway through a lovely weekend with lovedove, sofia, and disa. football on tv tomorrow, lovedove is going to make sauce so we can have a nice italian dinner with my favorite raviolis tomorrow, maybe pjs all day tomorrow. the weather seems unseasonably warm but we've got our windows open and there is a lovely little breeze.

i'm feeling happy and calm - which seems like a pretty big change from the first few months of this pregnancy. the ticker says 92 days, my brain says 88 to the due date, only time will tell when she'll arrive but im excited to meet her... but not sooner than later. i want her to be as ready as she can be when she makes her debut.

recent incorrect name guesses from mom: tessa, sadie, violet. good tries mom. keep guessing.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

time is flying by... kind of

today i'm at 26w6d/26w2d and as much as it feels like, omg theres only 3 months till this baby is here, i'm pretty sure i have felt almost every day of this pregnancy. i'm no where near as nervous as i was in the first trimester, and the second trimester did not bring that much more calm to my nerves, but i feel like i'm finally at a place where i'm less worried about baby and her health. i think it really helped when we hit the viability mark, and i think with each passing day/week i'm more confident that the day will come will i will hold a healthy baby girl, that i grew and birthed, in my arms. i've made a habit of counting my blessings every night before i'm able to drift off into sleepyland, and every day i'm more thankful for the tiny movements i feel from our little blueberry. trust me i count all of our other blessings too, as much as i can before my brain gets exhausted and shuts down for the night.

i can't believe that Sofia is 2 (plus a month) and i am totally in awe of her. babies grow up sooooooooooooo fast, its almost unbelievable despite witnessing her tiny growth every single day of her life. i can't believe we'll have another teeny tiny baby in this apartment in just a few short months. its wild. also wild, her accidental fall over the back of the couch the other morning. she just leaned over the couch too far (while jumping up and down of course) and took a nose forehead dive. she cried for a while, i somehow managed not to (my in laws were over for sunday morning bagel breakfast and i didn't want to look like an over-emotional pregnant woman/make everyone else more upset than they already were) but she was just fine. i of course made sure she did not sleep for many hours being the insane worrier of her two parents and of course i checked on her multiple times that night, i guess to make sure she was breathing at a normal rate? what else was i looking for? who knows, anyway she got a nice knot on her head and a little bit of bruising, but thank god for her little blonde bangs. and thank you god for the bruising not being worse. and no black eye. i hate accidents like this, but its the reality of little kids. they will fall and get big boo boos sometimes. it sucks, you feel like a bad parent for a little bit (at least i do), and then they're over it, and in a day or two the boo boo is gone. i've struggled with this a lot, guilt over injuries/not being able to prevent any and all injury, but i'm (still) learning to accept it. ug, i still hate it.

on a more positive note is what i love, sofia's night time kisses. she and lovedove have had a preset kiss routine including butterfly kisses, eskimo kisses, hawaiian kisses for quite some time now. lately sofia will grab my face to make sure i get some of the special kisses too. its the cutest and most loving routine i have ever seen, and im so happy to be a part of it.

i guess i don't have much to say. my nose has been really dry, and i've continued to have some pubic bone pain here and there, it comes and it goes. other than those 2 things, i feel pretty good, and i'm pretty sure i don't even have to mention that i'm completely exhausted most of the time. i think that's a given at this stage in the game keeping in mind that i waddle after a 2 yr old all day before i head to work at 4pm, get home at 9:30, inhale dinner, and watch an hour of tv.

i feel like this post is really random. whatever, im hungry.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


first of all, baby was jumping around like CRAZY last night when lovedove and i headed to bed. we were just laying in bed talking and i was laying on my right side and she was beating the crap out of the left side of my belly. i couldn't stop smiling and lovedove got to feel some of the best kicks/punches/etc i've had so far. it was so much fun, she was a little crazy person for like 2 or 3 minutes, it was great.

im starting to think about if i want pregnancy photos. i have a few creative friends with cameras who im sure would love to help out with something like that if i decided i wanted to do it, but im always very torn about how i feel about the designs/poses and what i would actually want for our family if we did do a little photo shoot. sometimes i feel like some maternity photos are too sexy, but i like the silhouette ones sometimes. i have no idea what i'd want, however... i do know what i wouldn't want. completely hysterical to me, wishing good luck to those kids in dealing with their interesting parents as they age.

had another sonogram today. love to see the little one in there doing well. had a newbie doing the sono though. i love the really experienced ones who know how to get great shots of baby for the take home pics, the one i had today, not so much. i know everyone has to start somewhere, but i totally have my fave sono techs. pics were ok though. i appreciate them regardless of quality will get one on here before i finish this post. my dr was there to review the images and said that baby "looks great, not too big, not too small. absolutely average". thats right kiddo, you stay right there in the middle. doc said she's almost 2 lbs now, right amount of fluid around her. my next appt with my dr is in 2 weeks, and my next sono is in 3 weeks on halloween morning. amazingly i have zero dr appts next week, cant even remember the last time that happened and im pretty happy about it. will schedule a playdate with a cousin and hopefully be able to run some errands. dare i put vacuuming on the list for next week?

here's one of the 4 pics she gave me. not sure if there is a best one. they are kind of scary halloweenie and make baby look like she has crazy vampire teeth or something.

congrats to the two mommies at Lezbemoms and welcome Paxton!

Monday, October 8, 2012


accomplishment #1. i shaved my legs on friday. yes, this qualifies as an accomplishment. not because i'm so big that i can't bend anymore, just because i haven't wanted to/been able to dedicate myself to actually shaving my legs in quite a while. really the only reason i wound up doing it was because i have a sonogram on wednesday and i think they might do a cervical length check with the transvaginal wand thing and i would feel bad if the tech/dr realized i had let my legs become bear legs. i was going to give a go at waxing them, but i half chickened out and half didn't have the energy to actually find a waxing kit. i was going to have a wax my legs party and invite a few friends (that i didn't think would be repulsed by my leg hair/wouldnt care if they were drunk/might get a good laugh out of me dealing with waxing pain lol) to come over and help, since i can't embark in many other thrilling adult activities (aka alcohol consumption). clearly i that didn't happen, but i've got a whole 3 months left. maybe it will make for an interesting friday night before baby gets here.

accomplishment #2. i've been able to sneeze for a few days without peeing on myself, i'm not sure why. i've been struggling with that pretty badly for the last few weeks. im kind of too lazy to do kegals. whatever im sure ill pay for that in the end. hopefully i can birth this baby vaginally anyway despite my laziness with kegals and i wont have to blame myself if her delivery comes to a c section bc my labor isns't progressing due to my weak pelvic floor muscles.

thrilled to read that baby boy may be making his debut soon over at Lezbemoms. hoping things to well and he's happy and healthy when he arrives.

i'm trying to think of more accomplishments but they seem to be few and far between these days. maybe i'll be able to add vacuuming the apt this week to the list. we shall see.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

thank God its thursday

thursdays are my fridays, the last day of my work week. between the baby girl growing in my belly and the not so baby girl who just turned 2 im beat. by the time its 4pm and time for me to start my work day, all i want to do is put my head on my desk and sleep. sofia had a tough day today, maybe she's teething again? she was up at 7am and we barely made it through storytime at the library from 11:15-11:45. we got home, she fought me on a nap, but eventually exhausted herself after being held for a few minutes. thank god.

yesterday was my cardiology appt. the doctor was awesome and super thorough just as my ob had said. he said that what probably caused my "abnormal" results was a previously undiagnosed atrial septal defect (asd). though the link says it isn't common, the dr said that this occurs in about 20% of people, and when there are no symptoms, that it is most likely a very small opening, and isn't likely to cause major problems until much later in life. he said that my heart sounded very strong and he didn't hear anything that he was concerned about. he gave me the green light to go ahead with a vaginal birth. this was all music to my ears. he was awesome, another reason i'm completely happy that i made the switch from lovedove's birthing hospital to this new one. i don't think i have a single complaint about all of the care i've received (and there have been many visits thusfar) in these first 6 months. i'm pretty confident that this level of care will continue and im thrilled.

so we're 6 weeks from my family sprinkle and im working on the invitations for that. my mom is not very computer literate, and my sister is not good at putting effort into things, so i said i would take care of it. gonna print them on cutesy paper that i bought today, nothing crazy. should be lovely to celebrate this pregnancy with my fam bc they are all aware of how hard it was for me to get here. clearly we dont need much, used this in the invite "Big sister sofia has so much to share, but we still want to show baby we care. not much is needed just the basics will do, diapers and wipes are welcomed from you". is that like rude to ask for that stuff since we dont need the big ticket items this time around? no right? someone be honest with me please. how would you feel if you got an invite that said that?

 and about 8/9 from my friends/pinup/sprinkle/bachelor party. yes, im a weird person. lovedove kept asking me what i wanted out of my party. my response was good food, drinks for everyone else, and pretty ladies to look at. guess its odd to request your friends to get dolled up for your baby sprinkle, but hey, why not. i love ladies, my friends are amazing, and my hormones are out of control. we're in the trust tree right? what could be better than your best friends showering you with love and support while looking pin-uppy and more smashing than usual? needless to say im pretty excited to get to that party at the very beginning of december.

im really looking fwd to next week as i have a growth scan sono on wednesday. cant wait to see baby girl again, hope shes still growing right on track.