finally

got to see baby's face for the first time yesterday. had the good and experienced sono tech meagan from monday, and she remembered that baby didn't cooperate earlier in the week. the first images she saw was baby without her hands in her face and she acted quickly to grab a few shots while she could. i couldn't believe baby was cooperating i was almost in tears. she looks pretty much just like every other baby picture in utero i've ever seen. i immediately sent it to lovedove and the aunties and grandparents. everyone was amazed with finally being able to see her face. everyone was asking if i thought she looked like sofia. i have no idea lol. i was just in complete shock. i felt like i had given up on the hope of getting a glimpse of her face after monday's unsuccessful attempt. some googling monday night lead me to believe that since she's head down already and space is limited down there, that we might not have a good shot at seeing her clearly, but then, surprise! (i'm withholding the pic until after my friend sprinkle which is tomorrow so all of them can see the pics together - though i don't think many of them read this)

sidenote.... i feel like since i posted about this blog on my fb page i've become somewhat of a more concerned/edited blogger. part of me wishes that i could write in a less censored way, even though not much of what i put up here is censored, i definitely feel like there have been some things i would have actually documented on here if i was sure that no one who i actually knew in real life would see this. anyone else feel like this?

back to finally. i got my first leg cramp of my pregnancy last night in my sleep. i only put this in the finally category because i knew it would happen eventually. lovedove really struggled in her pregnancy with leg cramps and got them kind of often, i feel fortunate that i just got my first one, but i hope that it doesn't set off too much of a chain reaction and i get them a ton. i hardly get muscle cramps ever, so im always kind of in disbelief that the muscle thats contracting is so strong. i tried to make my brain control the muscle to relax, when that didn't work i tried to reach my foot with my hand to help the situation - clearly not happening, and then i got out of bed. put all of my weight on my leg and eventually, probably within 30 seconds or so, the muscle gave in, and the cramp ended. i thought it was such an interesting sensation when the pain did subside, it just disappeared. not that i want it to happen again, but i found it slightly intriguing. 

finally, i look pregnant to my favorite teenage client. "miss you really look pregnant now". thanks kiddo. i guess its about time. i continue to get compliments on how well im carrying this pregnancy which is nice to hear, and the other day one of my coworkers who i rarely see said "you look beautiful" i responded with "what??!". my skin has been atrocious. i started to break out minimally before my sprinkle, but it wasn't that bad and i was able to hide most of it with make-up. however it has only continued to get worse since then. i've always struggled with skin issues arising, and not being able to let it be, i kind of usually make the situation worse. its pretty bad at this point, and im wishing this wasn't the case a day before my friend/pin up/bachelor party sprinkle. hopefully make-up will make me appear presentable magically. 

finally, im supposedly receiving my shipment of diabetes testing supplies today. after a month's worth of phone calls back and forth, a lot of bs and wasted time, a lot of lies/inaccurate information, etc, i spoke to someone at my medical supplier yesterday who listened to my story, reviewed my account and phone call history in his system, had a heart, gave a shit, spoke to his supervisor, and got authorization to ship my dec 1st shipment out yesterday. they were going to send it overnight so im praying that i receive it today. it will take a lot of anxiety off of me and ill be able to check my sugars the way i want/need to again. 

baby continues to move around like a crazy person, which i usually enjoy greatly, but its starting to get a little tight in there, so some of her kicks are starting to be uncomfortable. fine by me, as long as she's growing big and strong. my pregnancy emails have started to talk about labor and delivery and i was very interested opening and reading this link "what labor really feels like". needless to say i was comforted by a few of the comments, but nearly petrified by others. i'm pretty set on getting an epidural, even though i feel like a little less of a woman to not even trying to do it naturally, but after being present for sofia's birth, and being in touch with so many moms in real life, i know that its not a failure of any kind. i hate when my mother says "amy, you dont have to be a martyr" thats not the point mom, its just that i know it can be done, millions of women deliver babies without medication for pain every day, and in a world where i didn't have type 1 diabetes, i think i would like to give it a shot, but its probably best for me to just get one and try to be as rested as possible for delivery. whatever, that is still a significantly long time from now, at least it feels that way. 

pics of baby will be posted in the coming days, and maybe some pics from the party tomorrow. we're giving sofia to my parents and i can not wait to sleep in on sunday morning!

oh, the family upstairs just came home with their new born baby girl 2 days ago. the night before last i heard her cries in the middle of the night. its just so strange because my ears are totally unaccustomed to the newborn cry. sofia NEVER cried. it was almost strange. it made me wonder what this baby will be like. i pray she's not a colic-ie baby. however, my prayers that she be born a healthy baby greatly outweigh my prayers for a "good" baby.

anyway, onto the weekend! be well ladies!

[ps we might have changed her middle name again, sofia had some input this time]