anddddd im 29

tomorrow is my birthday and im 29. thats reallll close to 30. i used to be more freaked out about the numbers of aging, but i've gotten myself out of that. i'm thankful for every birthday and as much as its a very strange process to get older, where high school and college kids look like babies to me, i'm thankful to be getting older. i'm thankful to be 29 and happy with my career, completely in love with my family that is now complete, and blessed to have super supportive family and friends around me daily. end of my birthday rant.

as im sure you are all curious, breastfeeding is much more enjoyable when im not in toe curling pain (another mom's account of her breastfeeding struggles and how she overcame them) as shes latching on. it's not always the most comfortable at first, especially when my boobs are pretty full because its been a few hours since she last ate. we've been practicing the sandwich technique (how to)  and it has certainly been made the difference. when she's on the right way and has a deep enough latch its almost unnoticeable and just feels like  a weird tickle. i'm thankful that we're making progress in breaking our old/bad habits and moving forward. hysterical sidenote, the other day sofia was watching me feed laila on the couch. she unzips her footie pajama and is standing in front of me staring at laila. i ask her what's up. she replies "baby sissa eat me boobies too??" and she seemed completely ready to attempt to breastfeed her 3 week old sister. a.maz.ing. they seem to love each other so much already. i'm so happy about that, i hope that lasts.

onto my epic fail section of this post. i want to address two specific days basically to put it out there so i can look back and remember these days, as well as to share my mistakes in the land of supportive mommies, and share so other mommies know their bad/crazy/didn't go as planned days have some serious competition.

the first epic fail day was my first day home with the girls, when lovedove went back to work, and laila was a whopping 6 days old. laila had barely slept the night before (of course) and sofia was up early. by 8am i was completely exhausted and spent and then the 2 girls start crying in unison, i totally can't remember why. cue my phone ringing, its my mom. she asked me how my morning was going, and i struggle through the lump in my throat and explain how poorly laila and i had slept and she can hear my two daugthers crying. she tells me she'll be over at noon, and i start crying very quietly, as at that moment i had hoped that she would come sooner. she heard my desperation and said she'd skip the gym and get there sooner. i thank her, get off the phone, and feel like a failure of a mother on my first day home "alone". of course 20 minutes later, things were fine, i call my mom and tell her not to rush over, we're fine, but it was too late. she had already skipped her gym classes and would be coming earlier rather than later. it doesn't sound that terrible now as i write it, but for me it was a big deal. plus lovedove said that she feels like she remembers pretty much the same thing happening the first day i was home with sofia. isn't that crazy (if lovedove remembers correctly)? anyway fail #1.

fail #2 happened yesterday. sofia's monday playgroup session was cancelled bc the building's heat isn't working so i go to plan B and ask Gma if she'll come to long island with us to take sofia to the children's museum, while i run to pick up laila's birth certificate. she comes over around 10am, i had told her that i intended to leave around 11. i work on getting lunches packed, snacks, drinks, prepping the diaper bag, gathering the mail that has to go out, and dressing myself (not showered... i woke up today and realized that i forgot to shower even after we got home.. i hate that, it has definitely happened more than once). my mom dresses the girls, passes some comments about how its already 11:15, as if she had somewhere to be at any point in the day which she did not, and i start to really rush. we get in the car. fine. drive out to the museum. fine. i drop Gma and sofia at the door, realize that i forgot the bag of lunches i spent so much time on, tell them i'll be back in an hour, and park in the back corner of the parking lot to feed laila before i run any errands. my phone rings as soon as i park, its my mom, the museum is closed on mondays (no the parking lot was not empty as there is a community college right next door and that parking lot gets overflow on days the museum isn't open). on any other day i would turn the computer on and make sure the museum is open, that didn't happen and now this is happening. i tell my mom to walk to the back right corner of the parking lot and join me in the car bc im breastfeeding laila. 2 minutes later i call her to find out where she is, bc she is not in the car. she sounds panicked, as if im lying to her and have abandoned her in the cold with my hungry toddler. they finally find me and my mom shares her sandwich that she had brought from her house with the both of us. i finish feeding laila. i put the address of the village registrar in my phone. it says that its 20 minutes to get there. i kind of know its wrong but i start to follow the directions anyway. i pull over to double check the address a few minutes into my drive and it confirms the address im heading to. i get to the address, i know its wrong, its a park and a baseball field. i traveled to the address in another town. why my gps directed me to that address in another town, as opposed to the one i was in, i'll never know. why my phone did not list the multiple addresses in different towns the way it usually does, i dont know. why i didnt pay enough attention to what town i was driving to, no clue. epic fail. we went to friend.ly's for lunch, we had a crazy mid 50's druggie for a waitress. it was comical enough to get us through the day. i was so embarrassed and irritated with myself. epic mom fail.

i have more to say, but im going to cut this post off here. another post will be up soon. ta ta ladies!