yup, im "there"

this week, i must admit, i've officially hit that point. the point where you're tired of being pregnant. i never wanted to admit to myself that i would hit that point, because to me it sounds ungrateful. plus, this pregnancy has been relatively "easy" other than the diabetes management, as i was not in that much physical discomfort until recently. i know that many ladies have a much rougher time, so i'm feeling like a wuss. this pregnancy is what i want(ed) more than anything in this world, and i feel like im wussing out, because i'm only hitting 36 weeks now. this means i still have 3 more weeks until my doctor will think about inducing me, if things continue to go well with my body handling the pregnancy. i mean don't get me wrong, im not a big fan of induction in general, i believe in babies staying put until they're ready to join us, but since they're going to induce me anyway due to my diabetes, i might try to get her to move the date up by a day or two if she's open to that.

lovedove never hit this point. her pregnancy was the most uneventful pregnancy i think ive ever witnessed. i'm not sure if thats because she carried so high, or bc she was off for the summer for about 8 weeks before she delivered so there wasn't too much craziness going on (despite me being unemployed at the time.. story for another time), or if it was just Sofia being an angel in utero. whatever the reason, she never hit this point. it would probably serve me better not to beat myself up about it, really, what good does it do to call yourself a wuss repeatedly? everyone's pregnancy is different right? why compare myself to other people? (bc thats what we do by nature, silly). anyway, i want this baby born sooner than later, as long as its after xmas, and i feel guilty about it.

i've been having a ton of braxton hicks, usually after bending, so of course nothing ever shows up on my non stress tests bc im happily still and relaxing with my feet up in a recliner. i have another one today, christmas eve, and on the 27th. i see my doctor next on the 27th when i'll be almost 37 weeks, so i'm assuming she'll do an internal check to see if i'm dilated at all. not that being dilated means anything, lovedove was dilated 2-3 cm for like 3 weeks before she delivered sofia. speaking of cervical checking, i think the baby is attempting to do her own checks, from the other side. its quite an unpleasant sensation, and i think this is what sofia used to do to lovedove. lovedove lovingly referred to it as "the scritchees". yea, i think i get the name now, and yes, we tend to get creative with our vocab sometimes. tailbone pain continues, mobility seems to be decreasing, super tiredness (surprise). i've been sleeping like crap, but mostly bc i can't get my brain to stop running around in circles. i slept better last night, after only getting 5ish hours a night the two nights prior. i hope sofia sleeps in a little bit when lovedove is off next week. please God. please. just give me to 7:30 and im happy. i'm scared of the little amount of sleep i'll be able to get once the new baby arrives. like really scared, but ill deal, and i'll be very thankful for my blessings.

anyway, today is my last day of full week work. i'm working the day after christmas, and january 1 and 2, and then im calling it quits. i'm really looking forward to the holiday break, as i only have to work one day and lovedove and i, and the extended family, will have loads of time together to do fun family stuff. i would love if baby made her debut while my SiL was still in town so she could meet her while she's in NY. guess we'll see if baby's got any magic tricks in mind or if she's happy where she is.

its finally starting to feel like christmas to me, so happy its just a few days away. i can't wait to see sofia's face when she opens each toy. she loves to play. today she was playing doctor with disa. i managed to catch some of it on video. i love my kids, hope they happily welcome the new one when she arrives.

if i don't post, merry christmas to all!!