2.5 weeks later

little laila has been with us for 17 days now, and our time together has been completely amazing. she's wonderful and adorable and does a heck of a lot of sleeping right now. she sleeps a bunch during the day, but she does sleep well at night too, just as long as she's got a very full belly. we did have a few challenging nights, where it seemed that a not-full-enough-belly seemed to be the issue, but i had reached my limit with breastfeeding at the moment. i should have just kept her attached to me and tried to sleep that way, but instead they were semi-sleepless nights. it's all part of the learning curve.

laila tends to cluster feed at night, so she's usually attached to me in the evenings. it makes me wonder what kind of transition we'll be facing once i go back to work in a little over a month. hopefully by that time i'll have a large supply of breastmilk frozen for her or freshly pumped in the fridge for lovedove to give her while im at work.

i keep feeling like i want to put my thoughts about certain things out there, as advice/expereince/etc. i guess its like the super honest truth stuff... we're in the trust tree right? um.. lets see what i think is important to know....
1. i'm sure having a birth plan is important for some people, but i'm glad i didn't have one. it would have went out the window anyway with all of the unexpected things that took place with my delivery. when i was in labor, almost nothing mattered. i didn't care who delivered laila, i still have no idea what the doctor's name is who actually delivered her. i'd like to know her name, just to be able to give her credit for her great work and care, but it doesn't matter.
2. i got a hemorrhoid(my first one ever), i guess from pushing, and for the first week after i delivered, that was half of my pain. dermop.last spray was a god send. the other half of my pain was the general soreness. itchiness from the stitches came later for me.
3. breastfeeding and/or pumping are definitely tough. nipple soreness after a few bad latches/slightly off center pumping attempts hurts crazy badly, i can totally understand why some women don't continue when things get rough. i believe it's so worth it, even with some discomfort. lanolin by med.ela is saving my life daily. i've successfully pumped 3x, and got a total of 4.5 ozs. i feel really proud of my self, but i can't go near the pump when my nipples are sore, which makes me feel guilty bc i want to stock pile milk for laila... all in due time i guess.
4. post partum hormones are insane.

i felt like i had so much more to say but i guess i dont. whatever.

now for some fun facts about laila. she has been able to lift her head with moderate head control since the day after she was born, it's very odd. she makes loads of funny faces, and smiles (what i think is) a lot for a newborn. lately she's become a "fresh air releaser", well at least that's how i'm referring to her. during diaper changes she now attempts to pee/projectile poop in the time that you remove a soiled diaper from her bottom, and place the new diaper. she got me with poop the other night, peed all over the changing table when my sister changed her for the first time yesterday. i think  its hysterical. i dont even really mind, i've just adapted and she hasn't gotten me again since! that little stinker. her belly button fell off 2 days ago and i think we're going to give her her first bath tonight. i might post a pic if it goes as well as sofia's first bath. we use the prince lio.nheart wash.pod. yes, it's essentially a baby in a bucket, with a rubber seat at the bottom to keep baby in place, but it has been absolutely wonderful in our experience. yes it requires very close supervision, but sofia LOVED it. hoping laila does too.

got a letter from our RE's office with the storage prices for our remaining embryos. we've decided that 2 babies is our limit, and we dont have any plans for family expansion past this point. the storage is nearly $100 a month, and that is really an additional expense that we can't afford to take on, and truly don't need to. its kind of hard for me to let these remaining embryos go. i'm not sure why. and then i kind of feel guilty that i'm not donating them to some infertile couple somewhere, but i dont think i would be able to do that. ug. its such a loaded issue.

i guess thats all. just wanted to check in and write some stuff down. enjoying reading everyone's birth announcements and stories, and still following all the ladies ttc.

sofia is coming down with a cold from the crazy cold we've been experiencing, and my challenge for the next week will be to keep laila healthy. that should be difficult.