officially full term

here we are 37 weeks officially. i am supposed to be induced 2 weeks from today on the 39 week mark, but i  would like to speak with my doctor about the actual day when i see her this thursday, bc i would like to get the process started a day or two prior to that.

i've been doing my best to stay semi active, i've been taking walks, sitting on the yoga ball, doing house cleaning - i vacuumed for the first time in a lonnnng time today, running after sofia to try to bring on labor. i'm not touching castor oil, and sex is off the table with all of the emotional shit going on around here.

i have to admit that i know i will miss feeling her crazy movements inside of me, though some of them have become uncomfortable because she feels so big. i know she won't be when she arrives, but she feels that way.

i would LOVE to go into labor naturally and be able to avoid the medications and laboring completely at the hospital, and my biggest hesitation about being induced is that my labor won't progress and i'll need a c-section. so i'm really hoping that doesn't happen, but if it does, it does.

looking fwd to meeting baby (clearly) and welcoming some joy into this rough patch of life.

wishing you all the happiest, healthiest, most fertile new year.

eat it 2012.
im totally ready for you 2013... or so i think ;o)

no news is good news

well, i've got no news of my own to report really, but i'll get to me later.

a week ago i posted about being "there" early on in the day. it was a normal thursday. lovedove came home from work at the regular time, i went to work, blah blah regular thursday. then im in my first session and my phone rings and my receptionist tells me that lovedove is on line 3. WTF. she never calls me at work, so i know something is up. she's crying and scared and tells me that her mom had a chest xray and they found a spot on her lung. fast forward one week to today. we now know that lovedove's mom has stage 4 lung cancer, and it has spread to other parts of her body. she's currently undergoing testing and getting good care to try to figure out exactly what we're dealing with, and how we can best combat it. needless to say, it was not the merriest christmas. Sofia's christmas was great, she saw her cousins at christmas eve and santa came to visit the cousin's at Gma's christmas eve celebration (the most painstaking holiday celebration of my life, as we found out the stage of the cancer earlier that day), and left her great presents on christmas morning, but i think she can tell that something is off with everyone.

i can not believe that this is my real life right now, none of us can. we're just trying to take things one day at a time bc thinking into the future at all is scary and useless because all we know we have is right now. hell, she's a fighter maybe we've got another 40-50 yrs with her, but there's nothing in this world that guarantees me that i wont get hit by a bus tomorrow, you know? so this is my news, and as a family we're just trying to hold on to each other and figure out the best way to hold our shit together and be strong for each other.

this situation has created a weird emotional space for me. i'm really excited to be getting very close to meeting our next little baby, but a part of me feels:
(a) worried that the joy of this baby being born will be muddled with sadness
(b) guilty that i have such a happy event coming up and my MiL has the fight of her life coming up
(c) bad for lovedove that she is facing all of this at one time
(d) selfish that at times when im doing what needs to be done to help (staying with sofia, doing extra cleaning up, whatever etc) im think.. shit isn't this supposed to be the happy and easy part of my pregnancy?
(e) sooooooooooo scared.
so yea, im not feeling great emotionally, its a really rough place to be. my MiL is truly one of the unique and caring people i've encountered in my life, and she has loved me since the day i entered her home for the first time, and i know that because i've felt it every second. anyway, we're going to fight this, thats that.

updates on me and baby. my official dr date is 36w5d (i still think im 37w2d) and i want this baby to arrive. i hate the pain im in when im rolling over in bed at night, and the pelvic pain sucks on the days i have it. i had my doctor check me yesterday just bc i was curious, she said she got "one fingertip in there" and im "exactly where i should be". she doesn't seem to think i'll go early, but i have had a few contractions that i believe are semi real, but not very painful at all. tons of braxton hicks. tons of fatigue. not sleeping that well lately. grateful to be this far along in a very uneventful and healthy pregnancy. eye appt today to make sure there isn't any bleeding in the back of my eye from the betes + pregnancy. got this picture of chipmunk cheeks yesterday. makes me really happy and anxious to meet her.

yup, im "there"

this week, i must admit, i've officially hit that point. the point where you're tired of being pregnant. i never wanted to admit to myself that i would hit that point, because to me it sounds ungrateful. plus, this pregnancy has been relatively "easy" other than the diabetes management, as i was not in that much physical discomfort until recently. i know that many ladies have a much rougher time, so i'm feeling like a wuss. this pregnancy is what i want(ed) more than anything in this world, and i feel like im wussing out, because i'm only hitting 36 weeks now. this means i still have 3 more weeks until my doctor will think about inducing me, if things continue to go well with my body handling the pregnancy. i mean don't get me wrong, im not a big fan of induction in general, i believe in babies staying put until they're ready to join us, but since they're going to induce me anyway due to my diabetes, i might try to get her to move the date up by a day or two if she's open to that.

lovedove never hit this point. her pregnancy was the most uneventful pregnancy i think ive ever witnessed. i'm not sure if thats because she carried so high, or bc she was off for the summer for about 8 weeks before she delivered so there wasn't too much craziness going on (despite me being unemployed at the time.. story for another time), or if it was just Sofia being an angel in utero. whatever the reason, she never hit this point. it would probably serve me better not to beat myself up about it, really, what good does it do to call yourself a wuss repeatedly? everyone's pregnancy is different right? why compare myself to other people? (bc thats what we do by nature, silly). anyway, i want this baby born sooner than later, as long as its after xmas, and i feel guilty about it.

i've been having a ton of braxton hicks, usually after bending, so of course nothing ever shows up on my non stress tests bc im happily still and relaxing with my feet up in a recliner. i have another one today, christmas eve, and on the 27th. i see my doctor next on the 27th when i'll be almost 37 weeks, so i'm assuming she'll do an internal check to see if i'm dilated at all. not that being dilated means anything, lovedove was dilated 2-3 cm for like 3 weeks before she delivered sofia. speaking of cervical checking, i think the baby is attempting to do her own checks, from the other side. its quite an unpleasant sensation, and i think this is what sofia used to do to lovedove. lovedove lovingly referred to it as "the scritchees". yea, i think i get the name now, and yes, we tend to get creative with our vocab sometimes. tailbone pain continues, mobility seems to be decreasing, super tiredness (surprise). i've been sleeping like crap, but mostly bc i can't get my brain to stop running around in circles. i slept better last night, after only getting 5ish hours a night the two nights prior. i hope sofia sleeps in a little bit when lovedove is off next week. please God. please. just give me to 7:30 and im happy. i'm scared of the little amount of sleep i'll be able to get once the new baby arrives. like really scared, but ill deal, and i'll be very thankful for my blessings.

anyway, today is my last day of full week work. i'm working the day after christmas, and january 1 and 2, and then im calling it quits. i'm really looking forward to the holiday break, as i only have to work one day and lovedove and i, and the extended family, will have loads of time together to do fun family stuff. i would love if baby made her debut while my SiL was still in town so she could meet her while she's in NY. guess we'll see if baby's got any magic tricks in mind or if she's happy where she is.

its finally starting to feel like christmas to me, so happy its just a few days away. i can't wait to see sofia's face when she opens each toy. she loves to play. today she was playing doctor with disa. i managed to catch some of it on video. i love my kids, hope they happily welcome the new one when she arrives.

if i don't post, merry christmas to all!!

un/believable

27 days until my induction date.
6 more work days, broken up, last day isn't until 1/3 but still.
4 more weekends.
less than 1 month.

its unbelievable (to me) and completely believable simultaneously. i feel like this is such an odd point in my life. i'm almost "over" being pregnant, and i never really wanted to get there, but in addition to my impatience, im more and more uncomfortable day by day, with new (temporary - thank God) pains every day. lately i'm struggling with tailbone pain (which is the spine pain i keep mentioning, not sure why i didn't remember that the word tailbone existed). i'm starting to run low on tight shirts that fit my belly, since about half of the maternity clothes we have are shrinking due to this being their 2nd round of use. this means i'll have to turn to the more tenty, feminine shirts that will just billow out over my growing belly. i'm not the girliest girl by any means so im often hesitant to jump into the items i bought for lovedove when she was prego. i feel huge which is a good and bad thing. i like being obviously pregnant, but its rough. my belly now points in the direction of my last step which is think is hysterical. im tired (understatement). she's getting big and heavy and higher so she messes with my lungs sometimes. i hit my belly into everything. im super clumsy. i'm slower than in my prepregnancy days, and i have been known to move pret-ty slow at times. pregnant lesbian "problems", i know, shut up amy.

also unbelievable. the ny jets. they're fucking terrible and i still watch them lose painfully almost every week.

unbelievable to me that i'll go to 39 weeks. i don't think this baby is staying in here that long, again, not sure why i feel that way, it may just be wishful thinking. i keep saying i'll take her any time after christmas. not too early little lady, please, but i wouldn't mind if you made your debut before the 13th.

we did a lot of prep for baby this weekend. set up the cosleeper, minus attaching it to the bed, did the new baby laundry, got the infant car seat and bases out, made photo copies of important docs for the hospital (copy of our marriage license, health care proxy, etc). today i bought a pair of slippers for the hospital and my mom gave me a new pair of very soft pajamas for the hospital. lovedove has been urging me to let us go on a tiny shopping trip to look for pjs/comfy clothes that will be easy for me to breastfeed in. i've not been the most receptive to her advice, which is bitchy, but i think i was just being defensive and not wanting to be told how to do something, bc it will be my own learning experience. i apologized for that today and lovedove expressed that it just feels like im pushing her away when i do that. she's just trying to help me. i need to just accept her help and stop being.. whatever im being. i also think lovedove is a little anxious to be on the other end of this. i almost think its more nerve wracking to be the non pregnant one when it comes down to the countdown for, and the big day itself.

so lovedove doesn't feel well, im praying she doesn't get sick/er than she felt today. sofia also seems to be battling something lately, but we think its just 2 yr molar/teething stuff.. hard to tell though. the weather has been ridiculous, its been 60 degrees more than once this month. its december. that doesn't make sense. i think its messing with everyone's ability to stay healthy.

today is monday, so i was back at my regular appt for a nst and sono. back in the recliner, no prob with baby's movements, she was jumping around a lot. my dr happened to be around, took a look at my heart monitor strip, said "beautiful baby" based on the record. sono was also fine with the doctor reviewing the images calling her perfect. i'm glad she looks so good on paper, i hope she comes out as perfectly healthy as she seems. its almost unbelievable to me that my pregnancy has been so issue-less, im so thankful though. i cant wait to get the estimate of what she weighs this week on thurs.

and finally the most unbelievable of all. friday's massacre of 20 1st graders and 6 school staff in a small town in connecticut about 90 minutes from here. it was beyond difficult to hear about, i tried to shield myself from the details at first. then, like everyone else, we were glued to our tv's trying to learn details and make some kind of sense out of an unfathomable act. then their names emerged, then their pictures. its absolutely heart wrenching. i can not imagine the pain of being any closer than 90 minutes away and being completely unconnected to the victims. my wife is a teacher. i'd like to work in a school one day. my daughters will be in a first grade classroom one day. all i can do is shake my head and sigh. its so scary.

we need more gun control. we need more access to mental health services for those in need. we need so much change. what we don't need is more angels.

39 is the finish line

met with my doctor yesterday for our regular check up. she did my cultures, which was the first time i have been bottomless in a doctor's office in a while, and she joked with the nurse the whole time. the two of them are really great and make me feel super comfortable always. after she did those swabs and checked baby's heart beat on the tiny doppler, she asked me to join her in her office. she gave me the pre-registration packet (which i apparently was supposed to receive much earlier but they forgot - no biggie) and we talked about what the plan is. then she used one of my favorite quotes about life "we plan and God laughs". its so true sometimes. anyway, she would normally start seeing me weekly at this point, but she's not in the office next thurs, so i'll see her 2 days after christmas when im almost 37 weeks. CRAZY. where does the time go that christmas is in 11 days? anyway. she said that because i'm there so frequently (every 3-4 days) for a sono and nst, that she's not going to worry about having another clinician check in with me next week. the plan is, that if "all" continues to go well, "all" being tight control of my blood sugars without them plummeting (which may indicate placental breakdown - in which case we'd need to meet baby sooner than later), my blood pressure continuing to be where they want it, and decent non stress test results/biophysical profiles w the sonos, then we'll try to get to mid january and then induce. so, within a month, we should meet this baby. holy moly. so many feelings ranging from crazy excitement, a little bit of worry about delivery and how it will go, to omg we're going to have 2 kids/how am i going to learn to juggle all of that with a crazy dog, etc. i can't believe she's almost here.

baby was not that cooperative on the non stress test machine yesterday. i'm usually in a recliner, they have 2 set up, but they were occupied, so i laid on a stretcher during the test. apparently baby thought i was sleeping and went to sleep too. after a while and some unsuccessful attempts to wake her up by drinking cold water, they had me turn onto my side and lay there for a while longer. she cooperated once i was on my side and after what was probably an hour, they let me go, satisfied with the heart rate info during her movement that they saw on the printed strip.

then at the sono, the tech seemed a little concerned with my placenta. apparently it is horseshoe shaped and she was a little concerned about making sure it attached at some point. one of the doctors came in to look around with the sono wand and said everything looked fine, and that she was not worried. however, had i not already been scheduled for 2x a week sonos, that type of thing would warrant getting those additional peeks to monitor that kind of thing. when i asked my dr about it, she said that it is just to make sure that when i deliver the baby and the placenta they are able to get all of the placenta out, to avoid additional unnecessary bleeding after the birth. so any minor stress i experienced from that was pretty much put to rest once i spoke with her.

cue frustrated family ramble. every thursday, i pretty much rely on my sister to watch sofia while im at my appt(s). fine. so weds i speak with her about what the plan is, i ask her to come to our apt around 9.30/10 because i need to leave at 10 to watch sofia. i ask her to bring her car so that i dont have to put the car seat in her car, and i would just drive her car to my appts. my only request is that she take Sofia to storytime at the library, which she hasn't been to in weeks. ok. arrival time to our apt. 10 on the dot. she brings her boyfriend. totally fine bc he's a really nice guy and treats Sofia like gold, however, they drive over in his truck. now i have to transfer the car seat into this car. that takes time. fine. whatever, i get out of the house and get to my appt about 15 minutes late, which is now normal bc my family is typically not good at arriving on time/early. i didn't go on fb from my phone while i was at my appts bc my phone is pretty much always dead (the battery and phone are 2 yrs old and i think its just not holding a charge well anymore) and i just zoned out/read a magazine/etc. i get a text from lovedove that reads "your sister's fb post irritated me a little". so of course now im curious. i go on fb. i see a pic of sofia and my sister's boyfriend at the library reading a book. fine. i read the caption my sister puts with the picture. "storytime!! how ironic she picks out "daddy and me lol". ok, 1. she doesn't have a dad. 2. its not funny that she likes that book (its a flap book, she has several just like it by the same author, we've read it before) 3. your bf is certainly not her dad. 4. your boyfriend isn't even her "uncle" until you get engaged/marry him.

cue my fury. i commented on the post and said "are you trying to start a fight? you should probably think a little more before you post stuff". i just felt so angry. like i think ive said on here, i feel like she loves to play house with our baby, that we planned for, provide for, and care for every second of every day. when she takes Sofia places its not like - oh this is my niece, she's so cute, i love spending time with her, (for me it feels more like) its - i'm pretending this is my kid and this is my little family, and that is exactly how that post made me feel. plus, i dont think its a laughing matter that she doesn't have a dad. Sofia is aware that she doesn't have a daddy, but i think she's ok with it at this point. we talk about different kinds of families, and she knows that she has two mommies and she's a well rounded happy kid. i was just so furious. she didn't respond in any way to what i said, and she probably feels like im over reacting. i dont think i am. i didn't scream, i didn't yell, i didn't even address it with her in person. my family's way is to just avoid any "real" confrontation, and any time i do address any real issue i have with things they do or say, i'm the emotional (now pregnant - lucky them they get to play up the hormones too) one who makes a big deal out of nothing all of the time. i feel like i would have been fine with either the pic by itself, or the caption by itself, but the two together just made me too angry. arrrrggggg.

what about you - other 2 mom families? how would you have felt in this situation?

things i keep forgetting to mention

i hit my belly on lots of things, not hard, just enough to remind me i'm hauling a kid around in my body. most often i bump the belly on the refrigerator door when im opening it. i've done it many many times, i think its funny, since i so often open that door to look for a snack.

i've been getting super clumsy. i drop stuff and i feel like my hand eye coordination is off. my balance is lacking lately, especially in the middle of the night when im getting up to pee. its about 13 steps from my bed to the bathroom, but some nights you should see the help i need from the walls to stay upright. i have also developed a little bit of anxiety about stairs. i feel so afraid that im going do fall down a flight of them, so im very conscious about holding onto a banister at all times.

my feet started to swell a little for the first time last night. nothing major.

i've been having braxton hicks pretty often, prob for the last 2 weeks, but they never happen out of no where. its always in response to bending, or bending with some straining/reaching. its getting a little annoying. kind of like how the hiccups are getting a little annoying. regardless, im thankful for these annoyances.

im convinced this baby is more active one day and then really tired the next. tuesday she was kind of crazy at night, wednesday she was pretty calm, and this morning she's nuts again. i love feeling her, im beginning to wonder how much i'll miss her movements once she's born.

i totally hate the unknown nature of when she'll actually arrive. i try to google for "average week of delivery for type 1 moms" and read about other people's experiences, but all of that totally doesn't matter. there's no science to predicting if i'll develop pre-e and need a c-section earlier, or if i'll be totally fine and go into labor spontaneously, or if my water will break tomorrow. i just keep trying to read as much info as possible to remind myself that anything is possible and even if i go to my due date, which i feel like i could, but don't think i will (i'm not sure why i think that), its only another 38 days till we get to meet little baby girl. trying to wrap my head around how close we're getting to the happy (god willing) end of this pregnancy. it seems super unreal still, even after all of this prep, and work, and waiting. how strange.

but i totally can't wait.

34w1d

today's nst and sono were fine as usual. thank goodness, i cant imagine if a doctor actually wanted to speak with me at the end of my visit. half of the time the doctors don't even see me personally, they just send the tech back to tell me everything is fine. my mom was all "if everything is fine, why do you have to go so often"... "because im a diabetic Mom, and if theres an issue they want to know about it right away"... makes sense no? oh mom. oh so i was going to say that my blood pressure has been really good during this pregnancy so at this point i don't really have any worries about pre-eclampsia. i think my highest reading was 120/80 and that was on the day i had to pick up the rental when my car got hit for the 2nd time. since then its been pretty steady at or just under 110/70. 

did i ever mention the non stress test lady Gina? her name is pronounced gee(like the gee sound in geese)-na,  so at first when i would go in for my appts, i always wanted to call her GIna, bc i knew her name was spelled regularly, but pronounced differently, and of course my brain prounounces it GIna (like va-GI-na) and every time i had to work really hard to make sure it didn't come out of my mouth like that. thankfully im used to it now. anyway, Gina has been kind of absent minded lately. last thurs she hooked me up to the monitor and forgot to give me the little clicker thing (like a jeopardy buzz-er in-er) that i have to push when i feel baby move. when she left the room i asked one of the other attending techs to give it to me so she wouldnt feel bad that she forgot. then today she forgot to take my blood pressure, which i dont care about because im sure its fine, but after she had hooked me up to the monitor, she forgot to push my curtain back so that i could watch tv. so when she left i used my foot to pull the curtain back and i happily watched a small portion of the view. come on Gina get with it! lol. they're all very nice women, im not actually irritated by any of this, i just thought it was funny and that i'd share.

in other funny news, saturday was the first day that lovedove and i had done any extended walking, and she commented on my waddling. i've asked her not to comment again as the pelvic pressure/pain i have every few days is no fun, and on those days i feel pressure with every step i take. but i was kind of amused that she  commented on my waddling, but also a little sensitive about it. 

um, so thats about it. i have a lunch date with a long time friend tomorrow who (now) lives in Spain so i'm wondering what kind of comments she'll have about my size, waddling, etc, but im really looking forward to it. 

here's two pics from the weekend that make me smile, so maybe they'll make you smile too. 

i dont know how some ladies do it.

i feel huge already, and i don't think im actually carrying that large. my own mobility/comfort complaints lead me to question how other women do it. what about ladies who aren't built bigger like me? how do they cart around this huge belly on a tiny body? what about women who carry multiples, holy moly, how do they do it with 2 babies in there? my cousin had twins 2 years ago. she carried those 2 to 40 weeks and was literally the size of a house. she needed physical help to get on and off of the couch each time, and now she's back to being the size of a toothpick. women are truly amazing. paft of me feels like a very accomplished pregnant lady, i didn't have many physical complaints until recently, and i was pretty active (lovedove laughs at me when i say that bc she doesn't think its true) but i mean active in terms of taking sofia out on errands, and to playgroup, and story time, and to visit her grandparents during the day, and then i went to work most afternoons. i feel good about that. as lazy as i feel now, and i know i have felt pretty lazy through most of this pregnancy, i still feel like i did a good job in the care i provided to sofia during the majority of this pregnancy. anyway, onto baby things.

at my holiday party for work on weds night, i ate a ton, which led me to feel like a turducken. i felt like i had a full baby belly, inside of my full momma belly, and it made me think of a turducken. not sure if this is a commonly known thing, but if anyone doesn't know what a turducken is, its a deboned chicken, stuffed into a deboned duck, stuffed into a deboned turkey.

baby seems to have alternating days of activity and slower days of rest. i totally love feeling her, and im kind of getting excited that some of her movements are getting uncomfortable to experience. makes me feel like im getting closer and closer to meeting her. i mean i know i actually am, but it still seems like forever away. though yesterday lovedove said to me "amy, if you get induced 2 weeks early, we could have this new baby in a month", and my brain was like no, that wouldn't be until the beginning of january, and then i was like, riiiiiiight. its getting very close now, its hard to believe. this pregnancy has been the fastest thing in the world and the slowest thing in the world, simultaneously. its an incredible phenomenon all around.

at my sono and nst yesterday, baby measured 5lbs5ozs, which im not sure i believe, the pro tech's first guess was 5lbs1oz, but once she plugged the measurements into the computer it said 5-5, but i wouldn't mind a bigger baby. i want some chubby cheeks to squeeze and some rolls on those thighs! i love chubby babies! i know my vagina probably won't agree, but that's such a temporary discomfort, says the lady who has yet to experience a vaginal delivery.

anyway, im totally looking forward to this weekend. we're doing christmas shopping sans sofia later today, and tomorrow we're taking the xmas picture and maybe getting the tree. sunday is the last day of basketball games for the NYCGBL and we're gonna go to watch and show off my belly and see everyone one last time before we've got 2 kids. holy moly. 2 kids. this is going to be very very interesting.

waiting around

so today marks (business) day #3 that i have been waiting for my "overnighted" package from my medical provider. UPS has royally fucked me, and i've spent $70 in the last 4 days acquiring the testing strips i need to adequately care for myself and baby in terms of managing my diabetes. i've spent what is now hours, on the phone with UPS, demanding that they work with me to get these supplies to me. this is not a fucking pair of gloves i ordered online, or someone's gift for xmas, this is essentially my fucking health, in a box. needless to say im absolutely livid, on top of trying to keep an active toddler couped up in the apt without experiencing non stop tantrums, on top of being completely exhausted. and truly, i dont want to hear "its high volume shipping season", i get that, but its not the week before xmas or chanukka (dont think i spelled that right, i know the c is optional, but im not sure about the rest of it.. wait ill check.. according to www.jewfaq.org that spelling is correct lol.. what a great web address) and these are fucking medical supplies for a pregnant lady. come on people, lets do your jobs.

speaking of following up on other people not being able to do their jobs properly, i had to hand deliver a letter from my new insulin supplier to my endo yesterday. they (the admin people at my endo) say they faxed the authorization for my insulin refills on "the 5th", to that i responded "of november, correct?", "yes", well i received this letter in the mail last week. so they agreed to refax the rx. if that doesn't solve the problem i dont know what else i can do to try to facilitate smooth uncomplicated communication between these two service providers.

then i get an email from 1eighthundredpetmeds. we placed an order for disa's medication (the vet and his admin have agreed to let us purchase her meds and administer her shot at home pending we come in for monthly bloods) on saturday, and since then they have not received a response from disa's doctor. after the initial order is placed, they send the rx request to the dr. needless to say, and everyone take one big guess here, i call the vets office and they, everyone together now yell it like you're in a studio audience for a game show...... "didn't receive the fax". called petmeds, they refaxed the request. please please please clear yourself up, issue. i've had it with time sensitive medical shit that is out of my hands. i apologize for this blog becoming so rant-y lately, but it does seem like we've been under a significant amount of unnecessary stress at the hands of others, and this is truly the best place for me to get it out.

ok. enough of that.

nst and sono yesterday, baby went crazy on the non stress test, she was moving all around like a lunatic, kicked me in the ribs for the first time, and got the hiccups while i was still hooked up to the machine towards the end of the test. she didn't sit still for more than 3 or 4 minutes during that period and it totally took me by surprise. she is usually significantly calmer, but i really enjoyed that experience. the sono was fine, got another experienced tech, so i'm thinking that my time with jane the trainee is over. maybe they just let her do the 28-32 week ones bc they need to really start to monitor my fluid levels and baby's growth after that point? who knows, im glad to be done with her. she doesn't even smile when i see her in the waiting room. grump. during the sono yesterday, despite the images not being in 3d, we were able to see baby playing with her nose. it was so cute! she was kind of just pushing it down a few times and i couldnt believe i was watching her do it. the tech was giggling a little and said she was cute with chubby cheeks. my.god.i.cant.wait.to.see.her.in.person.

like i said before i am so tired. like, the most tired i have been through the entire pregnancy. i assume this will only continue, fine by me. do i wish i had more energy and felt more mobile? sure, but im pretty much halfway through the final trimester of pregnancy, im pretty sure what im feeling is completely normal. yesterday i didnt wind up going in to work, only 1 client is coming, so it wasn't really worth getting into work clothes, commuting(though brief), etc. i have work today, our holiday party (so no work) tomorrow, and then thurs and my work week is done. again, not good for bank accounts, but good for resting.

i continue to love feeling baby do more frequent and stronger movements, and yesterday sofia put her hand on my belly and would have felt a kick right smack on her hand if she was able to wrap her brain around the reality connected to the words "baby sissa in momma belly". her vocab is again on some kind of crazy incline, its truly amazing.

amidst all of this craziness, i've been remembering to be thankful for all that we have and keep in mind the relativity of diabetes testing strips not being delivered, as opposed to this being an insulin shipment, or other medication for more life threatening illnesses.

reading along with everyone's stories and loving being connected to all of you ladies through our journeys. i feel blessed to be among such a strong group of determined women. hoping this little one will be strong and determined (later in life, i could do without a second strong willed toddler) too.

what a huge success!

my sprinkle/pin up party was yesterday and my goodness, i still can't stop smiling. we had such a great time, it was more than i could have imagined it would be. everyone who was there made me feel super special in their own way. from home made decorations, to delicious food and dessert, to wonderful gifts, i felt and still feel so blessed! i still cant stop smiling. here are are the sono pics and some pics from the party

totally different angle
but i think they have
similar eyes. cant wait to see
these sisters together!

she finally showed us her little face! we think she resembles her sister. check out Sofia's 3d sono!

looking huge but i guess thats 33 week territory

pin up decorations with my interests highlighted!

our apt looks huge here, it's not lol
(there's Danna from the barbershop on the left)

disa pin up style

me and lovedove... aka momma and mommy <3

the "guess the size of my belly" game.
the previously pregnant moms at the party
estimated the belly to be significantly larger
than those who haven't been preggers before. we both fit into this guess! 

these friends and cousins had the two closest guesses!

lovedove and i with some gifts, matching outfits for the girls!

my ring ding cake! (actually little debbie's because no one could find ring dings anywhere!)
delicious!

diaper cake

we're set with diapers for a while! 

 as you can see we had a fantastic time! we had our hair done by Danna from Beale Street Barber Shop, who happened to be a friend of one of the guests. we couldn't be happier as our hair-dos truly made the party a huge success!

parties are all done, now it's onto the holidays. hoping this baby stays put and grows big and strong until she is ready to make her debut!