5 strikes, im out.

my 5 strikes were the 5 hpt that i was torturing myself with. today is the start of cycle #2 for me, so we're at cycle day 1 again. im not terribly disappointed, clearly i would have loved for this to be a "one shot deal" literally, but come on, how lucky can one lesbian family be. i'm just glad that i finally have my legitimate period. i had been spotting for the last two days, which from what ive read on other blogs and websites is usually the way AF will start, but for some women, they have spotting just before their AF and then wind up preggers. so i was on a very hopeful up and down emotional roller coaster for the last few days.

im totally ok with this. believe me. im just happy to have an answer. so now we move on. the frustrating thing about moving on is its another month of wait and see. wait and see if i have good looking follicles on the correct/left side. if i dont, we're out of the game for this month completely, and we wont know if i stand a chance until cd 12ish im guessing. so for the next 2 weeks im going to consume alcohol, hot dogs, cold cuts, and i am almost seriously debating a tattoo. that last one prob wont happen, but thats the most extreme desire of my fine-if-im-not-pregnant-ill-just-go-out-and-do-all-of-the-things-i-cant-do-while-i-am-pregnant-tantrum.

we have a weekend full of plans again, and i have my co-worker's son's big jewish wedding the following weekend so my life should be fun filled until we get to hopefully try again. and if we cant try until decemeber, well, that means more partying on thanksgiving for me. im hoping that all of this potential splurging doesnt mess with my sugars too much. ill have to keep a close eye on myself lol.

im debating referring to my body as the obstacle course from now on in my general life. im a lesbian so clearly there is an obstacle to fertility there, im only working with one ovary and one functioning fallopian tube, and im a diabetic - so im immediately considered a high risk pregnancy once i am successful. nothin i like more than a good challenge though.

keeping my head up and looking forward from here. whatever will be, will be.