my brain wasnt working when i posted earlier this week (besides the fact that my posts have been somewhat unorganized and crappy lately, not that they're ever that good, im just saying) i was thinking that i wasn't ovulating until next week. well thanks to my ewcm, im well aware that i am probably ovulating today and ive just kind of been a little bummed about it. dont get me wrong, im happy that my body ovulates on its own, im aware some women need assistance just to get their bodies to ovulate, but i guess i was doing so well at distracting myself that the physical reminders of where im at in my cycle are just taking their toll on my mood a bit. this is usually such an exciting time in the cycle bc its usually insemination time. i feel like im just so used to being optimistic and hopeful around now. sigh.
im still waiting to hear back from the doctor about what the insurance company has said regarding my situation. its hard to wait, but i feel like im getting better at waiting since ive practiced so much in the last few months. sofia has been keeping me on my toes as usual, but a little more now since she is realizing that now has the ability/balance to run. i always wonder how old she'll be when our next baby joins the family, and how ill manage to juggle the both of them at home during the day by myself. but i guess as sofia gets older, she'll only get more independent. a few people in my family have been able to juggle multiple small children under the age of 3, so i've certainly seen it done first hand, its just an intimidating thought for me.
i really feel like this week has flown since i took monday off, and i havent really left the house much this week. sometimes i get so lazy, plus we just got a new cable provider so all i want to do is check out all of our new channels and watch movies. i really try not to put the tv on much at all during the day with sofia around. we watch an hour of sesame street and then i turn it off. sofia and disa are starting to play more with eachother which is awesome, because that means sofia will torture disa less(aka bother her/chase her away whenever disa has found a nice comfy spot on one of the couches). hoping the weekend flies by too.
getting our taxes done in hopes that by using a professional we'll be able to get the adoption tax credit we are legally entitled to. then heading to a distant cousin's basketball game, havent seen her since she was little but she's apparently a big star on the local high school womens basketball circuit. she actually just committed to the University of Pennsylvania which is a division 1 ivy league school so it sounds like she did pretty damn well for herself. i wish we could have stayed in touch while she was growing up but there was a LOT of family friction both before and after my grandmother died, and once she was gone our connection to this little cousin was too. but hoping to see her and share some smiles. clearly im excited to see her in action.
then having lunch with a friend who i havent seen regularly since hs. my 10 year reunion is in march and there are so many reasons not to go, but i feel like i should. we'll see. obviously im having some anxiety about that.
anyway, it stinks that i dont have much fertility/progress news, but hopefully i will have something to talk about soon.
so glad that ladies who have gotten their bfps are doing just great in their pregnancies. reading their stories is keeping a smile on my face and hopeful/optimistic thoughts in my head.
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