attempting to be thankful for bad luck

interesting title no? i don't know how else to word it. as i've mentioned, this week it is back to my fall/spring/school year work schedule of mondays-thursdays 4:15-9/9:30pm. fine. i made it to work on time yesterday, to only see 2 of my 5 clients (transition weeks are hard for pretty much everyone at my clinic) do the needed paperwork and head home. left the office at 8:45ish, i kind of ran out of there because i knew i needed to get some gas on the way home and I wanted to try to catch some of the opening DNC speeches on tv. i stop to get gas. fine. before i leave i go in to grab some sweets, typical pregnant lady move, fine. things seem fine right? anyone remember my "new" car? the one my dad gave to me like 4 months ago, the one that some guy hit on a rainy afternoon on my way to work about 2 months ago? yea, that one.

ouch.

well some old man, either A) ran his stop sign or B) pretty sure it was this one - decided while sitting at his stop sign that he didn't give a shit that i was driving down the street/didn't see me with his old man eyes+glasses on a slick rainy night, and t-boned the passenger side of my car. thats where the thankful part comes in. i've been hit, in my "new" car, by two different men, on two different occasions, in the rain, and i've been able to out of my car unharmed both times. clearly i was immediately in shock/rage as i couldnt believe this happened, again. i got out of my car, and knocked on the guy's window to ask him if he was ok bc he had not gotten out of his car. now i see that he's old, and he has his head on the steering wheel and i think he's dead or something. luckily he wasn't dead, but he was a complete asshole. didn't apologize, didn't ask me if i was ok, nothing. the local volunteer FDNY ambulance comes to see if we're ok, and by this time we've moved our cars, and we're just standing next to each other silently. we were both fine, although i was a little peeved that throughout this whole thing no one (volunteer fdny, nor the 2 nypd officers that arrived at the scene) was like "oh shit you're pregnant" bc i clearly am now at almost 5.5 months, the bump is there for all to see - small but there. whatever it doesnt matter. this man did not attempt to exchange info, speak to me, nothing. he did turn to me and ask "what now?" and i kind of yelled at him to just stand there and wait for the cops to come.

im trying to figure out what im supposed to learn from this. im a big believer in "everything happens for a reason", so whats the reason here? am i supposed to learning a dont-stress-money lesson, bc i have been lately? it cant be a dont-drive-in-the-rain/inclimate weather- lesson bc um hello, i live in nyc and we have plenty of that. i just dont know. i can barely wrap my brain around it. and not for nothing, but he beat the shit out of my car. it might be 10-15 feet from his stop sign, to where he hit me, so i have no idea how he managed to get that much momentum to F up my car the way he did. even the cops couldnt believe how muc damage he had done in such a small amount of space. whatever, its over, i'm/we're ok, and its just another headache. i was thankful that baby was kicking around after i had calmed down when i got home. i needed to feel her and thank God i did. i have a doctor's appt schedule for tomorrow morning so im going to mention this whole thing and maybe they'll give me an extra sono just to check in on baby.

back to pregnancy. officially 21 weeks today and im SUPER cranky (in certain situations) lately to the point that im kind of afraid that people wont like me anymore. i've been feeling baby kick and move a lot, which is wonderful and i cant wait until its easier for other people to feel from the outside. i feel a special little bond whenever she nudges me, and i kind of like that no one knows about it unless i tell them. at my 20w sono the very patient doctor said that i have marginal umbilical cord insertion, which, she claims is not a big deal because she's never had this complicate anyone's delivery, but basically means that the umbilical cord is not attached to the direct center of my placenta. from what i've read online, its usually not diagnosed until baby is born, as it is usually missed on sonos. whatever, im not goin to stress about it.

besides all of this, Sofia turned 2 on Monday, insert crazy confused expression here, and there was some family shit at her mini pizza/coffee and cake party on monday between me and my mother. i dont even want to get into, it blew up again today, so of course between last night and today i've cried my eyes out.

lovedove just got home from work so im thrilled to be with her. i called out of work tonight because only 2 of my scheduled 5 were confirmed to show and i just really need a break. tomorrow is another day.

arggggggggggggggggggggggg!