pre-op

tomorrow is pre-op testing for my surgery next week. im assuming it will be the same kind of thing as it was last time. bloods, bp, ekg, lots of verbal questions. i've opted to leave Sofia at home with one of her grandmas as the process took much longer than i had expected back in the fall. Sofia was a trooper through it all, but i dont think she'd be able to handle it again as she's only becoming more and more mobile, and less and less patient - at times. not that i can really complain, she's still a wonderfully behaved baby (im aware she's not a baby anymore) but i just think it might be less stressful to just go alone.

im starting to feel anxious about the surgery, a hysteroscopy, itself. though it seems like a fairly simple and fast procedure, and im very happy that they're putting me under for it, im not a fan of coming out of anesthesia. i guess im somewhat traumatized from the last surgery. i was absolutely wacked coming out of anesthesia. granted i was also in some pain from the incisions, but i was on another planet. they sent me to the bathroom to pee before i was allowed to leave, and my wife said i was in there for like 10 minutes. i thought it was more like 5, but it did feel like forever. how am i supposed to pee when (a) i can hardly feel my body (b) i havent been allowed to drink liquids for 12+ hours (c) im high as a kite. so ive requested that my wife accompany me to the bathroom when they try to put me up to this task next week, instead of having the nurse guard the door and repeatedly ask me if im ok while im in there on this annoying mission.

im really just hoping that they dont find anything even more wrong while they're in there. and can you guess how excited i am that my doctor will get to see me naked again? shoot me. and im also thrilled that they'll be introducing new instruments to my vagina and uterus. last night while trying to fall asleep i was thinking about how my body would be positioned for this procedure. do they strap my legs into stirrups that way when my body goes limp i dont fall off the table? im laughing at myself just thinking about this, lets keep going... do they just lay me flat and spread my legs a little? do they have people hold them up and apart? try to get them over my shoulders?? am i going to wake up with sore leg muscles? ok i guess thats enough insanity. next.

my nurse buddy ordered my fertility meds yesterday. yes its early but better to be prepared. so that was kind of exciting. i feel like we're finally getting closer to trying again. although the injectables coverage has been a nightmare of its own. im covered through my wife's insurance. we have different last names. the injectables part of her coverage's computer system doesn't have a field for last name for the people covered under the policy holder. so it has seemed that every time they update their system (weekly) my name gets automatically reverted to her (the policy holder) last name. so we made sure to temporarily remedy the situation in time for my nurse to order the meds, and to inform the computer people about the glitch. there is no way we are the only family facing a situation like this with different last names. doesnt this seem so stupid in 2012? anyway. next.

i have to like do a little diddy here about how much i love our daugther. i cant believe how awesome she is. yes im one of those annoying moms (right now, for this moment, im not like this on a daily basis, at least not out loud) but she's friggin adorable and smart and funny and amazing. she's doing new things every day. lately she likes making "hats" out of her own empty shoe boxes, covering stuffed animals with a blankey and giving them a binky to put them to sleep, and this morning i watched her give one of her stuffed animals a "bath". she was on her bedroom floor and no water was involved, but i watched her take the travel shampoo bottle out, "pour" some on her hands, rub them together, and gently massage the stuffed animal. then i almost died when she tried to shake the travel powder on him when they were done. shes only 18 months old and she's learning so much every day. its crazy. and its crazy that we're moms to this amazing young lady. ok, thanks for letting me do that.

we're off to a free trial music class today with friends so we've got to get a move on.

more to come... stay tuned....