Tuesday, April 3, 2012

random venting

so i feel like writing right now, but dont really have a major thing i want to talk about specifically, and bc sofia is actually almost asleep for her nap right now, i have to take advantage of the few quiet moments i get.

1. i was really pissed off last night at work bc our usual evening secretary is taking two weeks off. thats fine im not mad about that, what im mad about is that my office decided to have one of the women who works downstairs administratively, work her shift. fine. no problems until my 4 (back to back to back to back - literally not even 5 minutes between them) clients come and go, and 15 minutes pass (8:30pm). then she's yelling up the staircase (my office is upstairs, in a building that was clearly once a home) to ask me if im still here. woman, did you see me leave the building or hear me say goodnight to you? no, you didnt, and you clearly have no idea how much paperwork i do by hand each night even though you look at my files constantly. all that writing takes time, so shove it and wait for my ass patiently. then 15 minutes later, at 8:45, she actually uses part of her brain and just dials my extension "are you done yet?". are you shitting me? "no, but im almost done". and i should have added that she's lucky i dont have additional work to complete on the computer downstairs bc i dont have one in my office. yes, you read all of that right, i dont have a computer at my desk and i do about half of my paperwork by hand. but we do have 2 water dispensers, a microwave, toaster, a keurig, and multiple security cameras (we're not in the best neighborhood). it makes me crazy. im the only therapist without a computer at my desk at this point, and ive been harrassing the guy who is in charge of shit like that for weeks. last night he told me that he ordered it this week. ill believe it when its on my desk. whatever. maybe tonight will be better. she better realize how rude it is to try to rush me. i work hard and fast, she's lucky.

2. i heard about another lesbian couple that recently conceived, sister-in-law's friends. they had their announcement on fb and i was really jealous and almost cried. i know they've been trying for a really long time (much longer than me/us) and all of that but i still felt so jealous. clearly jealousy is something ive been struggling with this whole time, and as much as i get jealous of heteros who get pregnant, i think i get more jealous of lesbians who get lucky. i just want to be them, and i know that we were them the first time around when we got pregnant with Sofia, it just seems like so long ago and ive been mentally ready to be them again for the last 7/8 months. i know that im more hopeful than ever and seem to be in the best position i can be in at this point in time, im just still so impatient. though i am pretty impressed with how well i did through the few month wait after january's bfn and everything else we went through. im really really trying to stay level headed. i know we'll get there eventually.

3. ncaa basketball. ive been watching so much of it and i love it. mens and womens. one of my good friends plays with me in the NYCGBL, and she refuses to watch women's basketball bc its "slower" than the mens leagues. of course its slower, part of the reason that mens basketball is able to be played at such a fast pace is that they are giants/their bodies/legs are huge and they're down the court in a few strides. while watching last night's men's championship game, though the pace of play was "faster", i almost felt like their game was slower because there were so many fucking commercials. at one point, they came back from a commercial break, a kid took 2 free throws, and another time out, which meant more commercials. i was kind of irritated. there is so much "media" in men's coverage, that there is a need for "media timeouts" and they get shown on cbs, while the women's games are shoved off to espn and we're forced to watch the same 4 low budget commercials for some online auto parts store for the entire 2 hours. apparently cbs wouldn't even fathom moving people's "programs" for the NCAA basketball women's championships, but its no problem for the men's game. i get so frustrated with the inequality/insignificance of women's sports. here's a crazy article about just how unequal it can get monetarily for players.

sorry there's nothing really nice or happy in this post. um, its a beautiful day here in nyc and the weather looks great for the rest of the week? im smiling now... no actually im not. arg! im tired and grumpy and i hate feeling like that.

anyway. enough of my crap. going to get going on my day and do some housecleaning, fun!

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