lots of thoughts

i think im ovulating today, which would be 3 days early according to my ff mobile app. i can usually feel it when im ovulating, for me its like a dull cramp that stays for a few hours and it hurts when i bend. i think a lot of women describe it as a much faster and more precise sensation, but we all know how insane my reproductive organs are, who knows what im actually feeling. my post op visit is on thursday. im guessing he'll probably do a sono, im not sure what else we need to do.

i mean i know i need to talk to him about how to complete filling out our "ART boarding pass", which needs to be handed in no later than the day your start your meds, on the first day of your cycle. thursday i really want to address with him the part of the form that dictates how many embryos are to be transferred. we really really do not want twins.
(reason #1 - im already high risk (due to the diabetes and thyroid issues) without carrying multiples.
reason #2- one baby at a time is enough for anyone to handle.
reason #3- if i had twins, we (the parents) would be outnumbered and thats a scary though for us, esp when you think about travel cross country to see family.
reason #4- if i carried multiples they would most likely be born early, and possibly even earlier due to my health complications)
looking at all of that, i am feeling like there wont be much to discuss as i seem to have really talked myself out even thinking about letting him transfer two at this point. lovedove and i have discussed each of those points, and as much as we want success as soon as possible, i think we'd like to avoid the aforementioned potential complications more. i mean if we transferred one and it became a twin pregnancy, then that's fate and its meant to be, thats the only way id be able to look at it, but those chances are super duper low.
the other thing that worried me about having him possibly transfer two.... the social worker that we met with had asked about if the doctors would encourage me to selectively reduce if i did get pregnant with twins. this blew my mind as i had never even considered this possibility. reduce a twin pregnancy to a singleton? i know that i could never make a decision like that. i read an article about one woman's journey to her second child in which she had chosen to reduce from two fetuses to one, and i was almost in tears. everybody's shit is different, i just dont think im made of the kind of stuff to be able to make a decision like that, so i should probably just avoid it.

its just so much to think about. there are so many thoughts surrounding this second child we'd love to bring into our family, and all that really matters to me if birthing a healthy baby (or two if thats what fate has for me in the cards) in the end.

so everything on my to-do list is done, except ordering/shipping the "back up" sperm. im hoping this is a complete waste of money honestly. we're going with an ivf vial because they're the cheapest (bc there are fewer sperm) and we picked the donor last week. i faxed in the ID Options agreement last week and have to call to confirm they've received it. if they have, ill just order the vial then and there, and ship it to our dr. hopefully the thaw with Sofia's donor goes as well as it has the last 7 times and we can just donate this sperm to our dr's office for whatever use.

april is already booked up with basketball and birthdays to celebrate, it completely blows my mind how this happens constantly. now we'll have to add in the medications ill start and all of my many lovely monitoring appointments. dont get me wrong, its tiring, but im thankful and excited to be getting back into the saddle. crossing fingers for smooth sailing. hoping hoping hoping.