question 4

Besides Mother's Day, what is the toughest holiday for you as an infertile?

I think that id have to say Thanksgiving. Don't get me wrong I'm very thankful everyday and on Thanksgiving, I think i just get irritated by how seemingly thankless everyone without fertility issues seems to be. I feel like because infertility is still kind of a taboo topic in society (which i think is completely stupid) no one/fewer people are willing to talk about their struggles except to their closest friends, so then fewer people know how common of a problem it is for people trying to create families. i feel like that just kind of trickles down and the people who are experiencing difficulties feel completely marginalized and isolated because they dont know how other people will react, ie with pity/judgement/whatever, and that keeps everyone quiet and everyone thinking that having a baby is super simple for everyone. although im sure that most people trying to have children probably know one or two people who have struggled with infertility, the majority of those people probably look at that friend/family member/coworker as the odd man out. honestly, i guess people with fertility issues are technically the "odd men out" but there are a lot more infertile couples out there than anybody thinks. i think that in general, fertile people just have no idea what infertile people go through, or how lucky they are that they dont have to go through any of it. well aren't i just bitter about my infertility issues lol. sorry that was a pretty negative rant.

I guess i also feel like thanksgiving is hard because last October we got a bfn and we weren't able to try in November so I was kind of bitter at that time of year. I love thanksgiving, we host, im very thankful for the positive things in my life, and also thankful that the negatives that exist aren't more more negative/devastating, but it certainly was difficult for me last year.

So i decided to change the background of the blog, it was too grey for too long, so i guess these beautiful rainbow bubbles for me are like the (hopefully) many follicles/eggs getting ready for the big event.

im happy its friday even though we have tons to do this weekend. tonight we have laundry, switching computer tasks, and movies to watch. tomorrow morning i have to go for bloods and a sono 45 minutes away, then home to get lovedove and sofia, then to brooklyn for basketball, then to the end of the season bbq in a different part of brooklyn, then home, then a 30th surprise party for a lifelong friend that begins at 10pm which is now very late for me. God that makes me feel so old. needless to say i will be ducking out of that event very early. tomorrow will certainly be a long day but as far as i know we have no plans for sunday. thank God. after a day like saturday i need a day of nothing to follow.

good luck to anybody trying/waiting/etc. hang in there ladies.

wishing you all a lovely weekend (even though ill be posting every day for the 30 day challenge)