2ww time

embie #1 is locked and loaded. (substitute) dr said that the embie was a "very good" one, and 5 were able to be frozen as of today. he also said that there are still a few that they are watching and they may freeze a few more tomorrow. i am just relieved that he spoke highly of the one they chose, and we have a few more if we need to try again. it kind of takes the pressure off. the transfer was pretty fast, less uncomfortable than i had imaged. i guess that i managed the full bladder thing just fine, and the sonogram wasnt too bad. the tech kind of just found the spot she needed to be at and applied strong and constant downward pressure. this allowed the the dr to see the tip-of-a-pen sized dot that apparently was the end of the catheter in my uterus. once they were ready to transfer the embie, she had to apply even more pressure, but it was done within a minute or two. they only had me lay down for 5 minutes after the transfer before they let me get up to pee. they're very nonchalant there sometimes and i appreciate that. they always say "dont worry, its not going to fall out" and i always chuckle politely. do people actually worry about sperm and/or an embryo falling out of their uterus? the whole thing just makes me laugh.

so now my biggest battle/activity will be managing my sugar as best as i can. today has not been a good day at all and i want to slam my head up against a  brick wall bc im running so high. ive been above 200 for the last 3 hours(which is atrocious for me and super atypical), and ive done so much insulin that it doesnt make sense. all i want to do is lie down and relax but what ill need to do is get up and walk around the neighborhood once i finish this post. i already did some very brief and very light exercise a little over an hour ago, but that did little to nothing. usually it helps to "jump start" the insulin and get things back to where they need to be. im super frustrated and stress doesnt help sugar levels either. it just doesnt make any sense and i cant find anything online that says there is any clinical significance to ivf transfers and any effect on blood sugar. urrrgggggggg. again, a moment where i feel like the only type 1 ivf patient alive.  the only reason why im hesitating on roaming around the neighborhood is bc there is still so much insulin "on board" (in my system but not actively working on breaking down the sugar yet) that im afraid if i do get up and start really exercising, my sugar will plummet and go too low, which isnt healthy either. diabetes is a non stop balancing act where there are no constants, no rules, no guarantees, and sometimes i have a really hard time accepting that. in any case, i know that today's blood sugar readings will most likely not make or break a successful outcome on this cycle, as im well aware that women who are not reproductively challenged get crazy drunk before they know they're pregnant and their babies turn out fine. i hope this turns out fine, and if it doesnt i hope i dont blame myself.

hang on my cgm/dexcom now says its finally on the decline, gonna check..... well my first check was on a finger that i did not clean with an alcohol swab and i almost had a heart attack/did have a minor one bc it said i was at 335. it lied, well it didnt, but i let it lie to me bc i didnt do what i should have done in the first place. i got up washed my hands and then cleaned with alcohol and its 240ish. still way too high but on its way down finally. i feel like the worst diabetic ever putting that high of a number listed publicly but i think once i do get pregnant this blog will shift significantly from ttc-land to diabetes management-land. you've been warned. anyway my glucose level is on it's way down, i should probably try to relax now.

qotd 14
funniest meds/injectables mood swing story.
i dont think that i have any funny mood swing moments. i had a mean moment when lovedove was getting ready to give me an IM injection and i was apparently too ready. she was asking me if i wanted her to do a countdown and another question about what would make me the most comfortable and i kind of just yelled at her to "do it already". it was very insensitive to her as a partner and i felt really bad afterwards, although i hope we can look back on it and laugh one day. what a jerk, right?

 i think i got moodier as i was closer to the end of my stim meds but nothing too crazy. as far as other side effects my appetite has been weird and my body temperature seems to have been kind of low as i have been cold often. nothing funny there, oh well.