1dp5dt

well not much to report here. did my final IM progesterone injection last night and it went even better than the night before. those last 2 i had to do myself which was a little difficult, but i think i over thought the whole thing instead of just doing it. im glad those are over with, but now im moving onto progesterone suppositories. FUN! how much fun you ask? 4x a day fun. i have no problem getting the pill size capsule up there, but i kind of wish that they gave me an applicator or something. i remember when lovedove was on these, she was given a different brand that came with applicators and it was only 3x a day. it really doesnt matter, we all know ill do anything to get to where i want to be. oh the other thing about the progesterone, pretty sure its going to make me nauseous. i battled it for about an hour this morning, which was interesting. it just annoyed me to be feeling queasy this early because now i know even if i do feel nauseous, its probably all just a side effect. i also start my vive.lle patches tomorrow, im interested in seeing what those do to me. ive read in a few different places that women using them get crampy. we'll see. i may have had some slight cramping today, but not much at all.

so my brain has been wondering what exactly should be happening in the next few days if i am going to become pregnant. thanks to the fine folks at NYU Fertility Center i have a much better idea.

i am so hopeful that we'll be successful with this cycle but i am really going to do my best to keep a level head. im going to try to stay neutral telling myself that its not going badly or going great through the 2ww because whatever is supposed to happen will happen.

im super tired of lovedove being out of town. im ready for her to be home. tomorrow im back to reality and back to work. taking the last 4 days off of work was probably the best thing i ever did for my mental health. not that my job is that stressful, but i just didnt want to have to think about anything but my family through this whole process. its been very nice to have sofia's grandparents take the lead role in caring for sofia for the last few days. i feel very well rested and calm, or at least as calm as you can be when your other half isnt around. i know that tomorrow will go really fast and then ill be at work, and once im home from work the day is over and ill just have to get through the morning and then lovedove will be back. i think we're though the hardest part already, it just sucks to be apart during something like this.

my mother is driving me slightly insane today. she does a wonderful job caring for our daughter, but she gives in to Sofia's every desire. sofia is outside for the 3rd time today, not that i mind its beautiful out, but if sofia grabs her shoes and says "out" and walks to the door, my mother takes her out, even if they just came back inside 15 minutes ago. my philosophy on child rearing is to have the child just adapt/be integragted into the adult's plans, not the other way around. i dont want sofia who is all of 20 months old thinking that she calls the shots. i mean she does call a lot of shots, but i dont want her to get used to getting any and everything she wants. maybe im just a moody and angry person today. who knows.

qotd 15
List 5 things you want to do before you die.
1. Pay off my student loans/debt (so that i can go into debt trying to send our children to college, haha - we (pause) are (pause) the 99%, sorry cant help but throw in a little OWS reference with them all over the city today. but seriously we are the 99%, lets tax the billionaires please, thanks).
2. Own a home.
3. See each of my favorite musical artists live at least once (rip Amy Winehouse, that one didnt happen)
4. travel a ton.
5. win something, a big prize or some cash, i think that would be really fun.