my last lonely night

not that im that lonely, the dog certainly takes up enough space in the bed. she manages to take up a good third(+) of the bed on a normal night, so you can imagine how she sprawls out where there is only one mommy in the bed. clearly im thrilled that we're almost done with this ridiculously timed business trip. i cant wait to hug her and smell her, that was always my favorite part of reuniting(she was away  for 2 years in college). i did every single (mostly redeye) airport pick up, gladly. you know how everyone just has a smell, right?

2dp5dt nothing to report today. the random here and there nausea continues, really only once or twice a day for 20 mins, thank you progesterone suppositories. i thought for a second my boobs looked bigger, but im fairly certain they actually dont. the only things i want to eat are crap foods and sweets, but thats probably me just eating my stress. hoping that the little embie decides to act according to the nyu schedule i posted yesterday and will begin to implant tomorrow. today i really started to think about if im going to poas. im pretty against it, as bfns are heart wrenching for me, and those tiny faint positives i had in december are still sitting in my head. i might test a day or two before the beta, but we'll see what i actually wind up doing. one of my coworkers (they're all straight.. which is kind of odd now that i think about it, but i do work at a small and kind of conservative mental health clinic) is also trying to get pregnant. she has endometriosis too, but didn't have a problem getting pregnant with her first, so i kind of feel like we're in a race, even though clearly we're not. id like to come out a winner either way (pregnant, and soon).

qotd 16
Have you ever bonded with someone in real life over infertility even if just for a few minutes? 
I'm racking my brain, but I dont think i have. the only person that i know of that had real difficulty getting pregnant is one of my cousins, but that whole situation was very hush hush. everyone knew she was having trouble, but no one talked about exactly what was going on. she wound up with fraternal twins, so im still wondering how that happened.